Still undecided about how to vote in the upcoming election? If so, why? There is clearly only one viable option, only one guy right for the job. He has spent the past few months winning the nation over with his wit, charm and devastatingly good looks. Need any more convincing? Here are ten reasons why you should vote for Donald Trump.
1. It’s definitely a good idea to elect a president with no previous experience in politics. Definitely choose a celebrity over someone with years and years of political experience. That definitely seems like a good idea. Not illogical at all. Nope.
2. Having a president with the temperament of a two-year-old having a tantrum will be totally beneficial and not at all harmful. Of course letting someone with such a short fuse be in charge of making lots of important decisions will work out well. Why wouldn’t it?
3. Because we need to validate the views of racist Americans. We should totally send a message that all immigrants are terrible, terrible people and we should keep them out. This will definitely improve race relations in the US. Definitely.
4. To keep sexism alive! Let’s ignore all the progress made by those pesky feminists over the past century! Elect an openly misogynistic president who looks down on women and admits to sexually assaulting them! Which leads me to my next reason.
5. We can send a message that sexual assault is perfectly acceptable. It’s totally okay to kiss and touch people without consent, especially when you’re a celebrity. They let you do it. It’s fine!
6. America definitely needs more guns. Having more guns on the streets will obviously reduce crime and violence on the streets. Obviously.
7. Women have too many rights as it is, let’s take some away. If only women couldn’t vote on this election, Trump would have it in the bag. Also, let’s deny them the right to make decisions regarding their own bodies. Men like Trump should definitely have the right to decide what women do regarding their own health.
8. He’s a great debater and is able to get his point across concisely and eloquently. He knows exactly what to say and when to say it. Forget using full, coherent sentences; all you need is to scream "Wrong!" at your opponent over and over again. They’ll get the message.
9. Embrace the possibility of gay marriage becoming illegal again. Let’s just erase all progress made by the LGBTQ community and continue to deny them a basic human right. America was better 50 years ago anyway. Hurray for intolerance!
10. It wouldn’t be the most damaging thing you could possibly do to your country and the wider world. Definitely not. It definitely wouldn’t have severe consequences and send the entire world back half a century. It is definitely the most beneficial thing we can do for the world right now. 100%.
