There are many animals in this world. Some big, some small, and some completely ridiculous (like the platypus). I'm going to take you down a path you never thought you'd go down: the path of hybrid animals you never knew you wanted until now.
1. The Birdilla
Have you ever wanted to wake up to the sound of a shouting gorilla? Now you can, with the the help of the Birdilla. Hear the word of Harambe straight from a Birdilla's mouth, right outside your door.
2. The Butterphant
As you look into the sky, you see a large mass slowly moving towards you. Could it be a jumbo jet? An angry storm cloud? A misguided hot air balloon? No, it is none other than the majestic Butterphant, the most beautiful thing Mother Nature could give us.
3. The Bearshark
Think to yourself: What does America need right now to scare away all other countries, besides Donald Trump? The answer is simple: Bearsharks. These lean, mean killing machines will bring the sea and land together in a beautiful combination.
4. The Turtaffe
The Turtaffe could be the one thing to you need to get out of that depression caused by your ex leaving you. You hear that, Paul? i don't need you. I've got the Turtaffe to fill the void.
5. The Duckhorse
The majestic Duckhorse is something the world truly needs. We can live without world peace or a solution to world hunger. The world only needs one thing: Duckhorse. Only a true equestrian could tame this creature. Unlike, Paul who could only tame the TV remote. You know I'm right, Paul.
6. The Cameldog
Have you ever wanted to take your dog on trip with you? Well, what about having your dog be your form of transportation? That dream can become a reality with the Cameldog! You'll never be lonely again, especially after Paul leaves you for Irene. Really? Irene? She can't even play the tuba and can't even contour correctly!
7. The Oranguhog
The Oranguhog. Didn't know you needed it until you saw it, right? Just like when I saw Paul at the farmer's market last week and realized that I wanted him back, and then I stared at him until he left. Oranguhogs, right?
8. The Squirolf
Does this really need an explanation? All the fury of the squirrel, all cunning of a wolf, and all the wonderful things in between. The Squirolf won't leave you like Paul.
9. The Bunchick
The Bunchick is what will be on every child's Christmas list this year. Just like the engagement ring I wanted from Paul last year, but life is just full of disappointments. Just like there isn't a real Bunchick for those children, there's no engagement ring for me.
10. The Kangacow
Did you know that Kangaroos can't jump backwards? Now you'll know what to do when you come face to face with this ball of fury. Jump behind that bad boy and run for your life, just like Paul did. There's no winning with the Kangacow or with Paul.
