I'm short, but I'm not the cute short. Rather than being a perfectly formed miniature human, my body decided in middle school that it was done with everything and that seventh grade was the look for me. I'll never have perfect hair that requires minimal upkeep and lays just right or a skinny frame that looks good in everything. I'm not athletic in any sense and have permanent scars due to injuries acquired while walking.
I have a whole list of I am not's. And more oft than otherwise, I find myself recounting the list of not's when I should be doing other things. This list at times has consumed my entire attention, and other times is less prominent, but is still there in the background, reminding me of what I lack. Your legs are not long enough. You don't weigh 96 pounds anymore. Your eyes are not blue. You're not good enough.
A few weeks ago as I was working on a research paper, one of the questions that I often use in my outlines stood out to me. So what? Within the context of writing a paper, its purpose is to guide clarifying questions toward why the thesis and research actually matter. In a broader sense, though, the words mattered. So what if my legs aren't long enough? So what if my stomach isn't flat? I'm eating healthy and exercise normally, do those extra five pounds really make that much of a difference in the big picture? In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter that my growth spurt never came or that my eyes remained the most common eye color in the world? No.
Ultimately, none of that matters. It's petty. It wastes my time focusing energy on matters that are inconsequential and has no substantial impact beyond maybe what guys think I'm cute, and I mean come on, if that's all I care about in accomplishing in life, why am I paying this much money for a degree?
I am enough. As I am. Extra weight included. Despite my inability to reach the top shelf without using a chair or the fact that my stomach will never land me a spot in the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, I am still a valued human being with great potential.
I am enough, and you are too.
