"Don't knock it 'til you try it."
"You just have to love them enough."
"Make it work!"
There's this theory that long distance is about how much effort you put in, that you can remedy anything with some elbow grease and the will to make it happen. I call bull crap because I've done it. After seven months of dating, he left for college, and we kept it going.
Plot twist: It didn't work.
Maybe it was the amount of effort. Maybe I just didn't put enough into the relationship. At the end of the day, though, I loved him, and shouldn't that have been what mattered? Shouldn't that have fixed the lonely nights, the Skype calls that made your chest hurt, the day-counting? Haven't we been taught that love will overcome anything if you need it to?
Somehow, the strongest relationships started getting worn down by the distance. Just needing the feeling and the presence of a person is so incredibly human, I don't think you can take it out of a relationship and do very well.
I don't think it was the amount of effort. I'm not saying it doesn't work, or that no one can do it. I've seen people do it, but not without their share of problems. It isn't always about trust, either. It's not always the worry that they're cheating on you or galavanting off into the sunset. Sometimes, it's just the empty feeling when they're gone. The empty feeling when they sign off of Skype, or go to bed, or your head hits your pillow. That tug that's pulling you, however many miles away. I don't know exactly why that is, or what causes that. Maybe you guys are just super-human and better than the rest of us at this whole "dating" shebang. Maybe your relationship is "healthier" – whatever that means. I'm also not advocating for you to attach yourself to that person by the hip, or never go out and do anything because you need to be with that person 24/7.
Seventy-five percent of college kids have been in a long-distance relationship before, but we all know they aren't all going to last. Not all of them are built to last. If your significant other is going to college or you are, and you're staying together, just be prepared.
I'm just saying if you're the type of person it doesn't work for, don't beat yourself up about it. Focus your attentions on the people who love and care for you who are within a reachable distance. Maybe, you guys will figure it out later, in some "Notebook"-esque way. Maybe, you won't. A long-distance relationship isn't an experience you need in order to grow as a person. It's not going to help you when you're lonely in college, and it's your own damn fault, but it'll feel a hell of a lot better than pining over someone miles away.
