Content warning: references to racist and trans-exclusionary feminist rhetoric
Over the past several years, a new type of discussion surrounding feminism and women’s rights has emerged in the United States. Whether this is due to the popularity of social media and digital communication or simply a representation of ever-evolving social attitudes, the fact is that more people are talking about what it means to be a feminist. According to a 2016 poll by The Washington Post, 60 percent of women (and 33 percent of men) self-identify as feminists. Many of these individuals have been making great strides toward promoting policies and behaviors that support gender equality, and that’s a wonderful thing to see.
Unfortunately, however, the feminist movement in the United States is still far from perfect. Though issues such as reproductive rights, sexual violence, and the continued wage gap have received a lot of much needed time in the spotlight, many other problems have been pushed under the rug. And here beats the heart of the problem— individuals who claim to be feminist are chronically undermining or ignoring the needs of underprivileged and minority women.
Despite the many steps that feminism has taken in the right direction, there are certain elements of the movement that still have a lot of catching up to do. The expression “white feminism” has been floating around on the web for some time now, referring to the tendency of mainstream feminist discourse to center around the interests of straight, cisgender, able-bodied white women. This is not to say that the issues of this particular demographic aren’t important— rather, it is to say that our experience is influenced by the many different types of privilege that we have. In other words, we simply do not experience the same struggles as, for instance, a lesbian, transgender, Black woman with a disability.
So what can we do? I mean, I happen to be a straight, cisgender, able-bodied white woman, and I can’t change any of those things about myself. What we can do is listen to members of our community who go through struggles that we may never fully understand, respect their needs, and modify our behavior to support them as well as we possibly can. Even if you only meet a couple of these criteria— for instance, if you’re lesbian but you are cisgender and white— there is still so much you can learn if you take a moment to listen.
Here are a few suggestions for ways that you can overcome your privilege to be a good ally to your sisters. Hopefully, they will give you some food for thought on how to become a better feminist, and ultimately a more compassionate human being.
1. Check your privilege!
I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but I will say it again: if you are a white person in America, you get certain systematic benefits that people of color do not. The same is true if you are straight, or cis, or rich. This is not a condemnation of your character, it is simply a reality of the culture that we live in. It means that you have to take a step back and recognize that there are certain struggles that you will never go through, and appreciate the benefits that you have simply by virtue of your birth.
Even in writing this article, I recognize that I do not and cannot elaborate on some of these points nearly as well as other women could as a result of my privilege. Go out of your way to seek out perspectives that may be different from your own, and listen with empathy. Being conscientious of your privilege will better equip you to listen to the hardships of others and recognize the advantages that you may have had in overcoming otherwise similar struggles.
2. Learn when to be silent…
Sometimes the best thing you can possibly do is be quiet and listen to what others have to say. It’s true in life, and it’s true for feminism. If you are a white person participating in a conversation about rights for Black women, you should honestly be contributing very little. There is no way that you can describe a Black woman’s circumstances better than she can, and that is the way it should be. Pay close attention to the problems that you hear, and be open to the fact that you might sometimes be complicit in the continuation of problematic attitudes.
If you do involve yourself in the conversation, consider asking questions like “What can I do to help combat this problem?” or “How can I be a good ally under these circumstances?” Take the answers that you are given to heart. Remember— you cannot be an expert on other peoples’ experiences.
3. …and know when to speak out.
Never be silent if you see an injustice against a fellow human being. A viral video popped up this week of an older white woman berating a pair of Latina women in a store for speaking in Spanish in the check-out line. Onlookers said nothing, making no effort to shut down the woman’s tirade or defend the innocent shoppers. This is unacceptable. Being a bystander in a situation like this one does nothing but support the actions of bigots and misogynists.
I know that it can be scary to speak out, to make a scene, but it cannot possibly be as frightening for you as it is for those who are being verbally (or even physically) attacked. Standing by with a video camera isn’t good enough. You cannot be a good ally to other women— or to anyone, for that matter— if you are unwilling to actually back your words with actions.
4. Don’t try to police womanhood.
Even within the feminist movement, there is a persistent problem with women attempting to define what is or isn’t feminine or “womanly.” Some claim that shaving your armpits and wearing makeup makes you a tool of the patriarchy, while others say that chopping your hair off and going au naturale makes you somehow less of a woman. To me, both of these perspectives have always been bizarre in the sense that they are both so profoundly un-feminist. Bodily autonomy is one of the most fundamental elements of the feminist movement. In other words, as long as what you are doing isn’t hurting anyone else, then you should be able to do whatever you want with your own body. Why do we experience this urge to limit the self-expression of other women, whatever form that might take?
A more extreme version of this policing of womanhood comes in the form of TERFS, or Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists. These people are exactly what they sound like: they are self-proclaimed feminists who do not believe that transgender women should be included within feminist rhetoric. Many deny that trans women are women at all. This is wrong on almost too many levels to count, but the simple version is this: denying trans women their womanhood denies them an essential aspect of their identity. Excluding them from feminist discussion denies them access to resources and support that they may crucially need.
Boy, it sure would suck if a privileged group wanted to demean and exclude women simply based on their gender identity, wouldn’t it?
5. Think big.
When getting involved with the feminist movement, however you may choose to do so, make sure that you do your best to consider the needs of all women, not just women like you. Recognize that certain groups might have a harder time accessing menstrual products. Know that trans women are more likely to be victims of violence. Appreciate that the wage gap affects women of color at a disproportionate rate. Notice that the voices of women with disabilities are frequently pushed to the margins of mainstream discussion. Think about these things, and then think about how you fit into the middle of this whole big amazing soup of problems and possibilities.
Why amazing, you may ask? Amazing because once we recognize the problems that are all around us, we bring ourselves one step closer to overcoming them— for all women, regardless of background.
