Even though anxiety can make your life a living hell, it cares about you.
I've battled G.A.D for most of my life when it was silent threat and even when it came out full blown over the past two years, and if there's only one thing I've learned, it's this: my anxiety cares about me.
One of the coping mechanisms I use when my anxiety gets really bad is to separate it from myself. If I can separate myself, it's easier for me to realize it's just a minute, an hour, a day, a week, or years. The anxious moment will pass eventually and I'll be able to see the bright horizon again.
But let's think about this for a moment.
Anxiety is a natural response to stress. It is your body's way of responding to events that are happening in your life. If you didn't have any anxiety at all, there would be a whole different problem! It's helpful to have a little amount so you're reminded to do your homework and study for a test, or go to a meeting or event. Things like that.
However, anxiety can overrun your life when your brain tries to overcompensate. The adrenaline kicks in after an anxious thought or after observing a small detail. Your body is just trying to keep you safe, even if you know in your head that you're already as safe as you can be.
Once I was able to recognize this in my own body, it helped me to be a lot easier on myself and more patient with my shortcomings. My brain just wants to keep me safe and protected, but it's up to me to redirect my thoughts with rational reminders about what is actually going on in the present moment. It has taken me a very long time to get to this moment in my life. It's taken years of therapy to be easier on myself.
At first, I hated my anxiety. I hated how it loomed over my day, taking up all of my precious brain space that I could have filled with more positive things. I wasted years of my life worrying over nothing. It wasn't until that I went to therapy where I began to understand that my body was just trying to protect me. I learned about what happens when my brain gets anxious and how my fight or flight system works. I learned about different ways to cope with anxious thoughts.
I started to listen.
Enough was enough, I decided. I needed to listen to what my body was trying to tell me. I was hurting deep on the inside, and my anxiety was like a flicker of light pointing me in the direction of healing I needed to follow. It has been a long journey that I am still trying to follow, but over time it has become better and better.
It's possible to find healing in your life while living with a mental illness. Talk with friends, a trusted counselor, your parents, anyone who will listen. Your body really does care about you, and it needs some tender love and care to be able to open up to its full potential. Be calm, and listen to yourself.
