1. What you think are failures are almost always blessings in disguise.
Sometimes it happens right away, and sometimes it takes time, but when you try to see the good in something, you can. There have been a few times where I haven't gotten a job or leadership position I really wanted, and I felt like such a failure when I didn't get them. One of those times, it took me a month to realize I wouldn't have had any time and it would have made me super stressed out. Another time, I realized the boss I would have worked for would have sucked. I also had to look for the good, and when I did, I realized I had more time to focus on my career and I know there is a better opportunity waiting for me.
2. Sometimes, you just need to cry it out.
I hate crying. It's ugly and exhausting. But, I have finally learned that it is a very effective and healthy way to let my frustration out. I used to keep everything pent up, and it would just make me angry and stressed. I would be ready to lash out at any moment. But after I cry, everything is gone and then I can move on from things and just feel more level-headed.
3. You need to stop associating with negative people.
They will suck the happiness out of you. You pick up habits from the people you spend time with, and you feed off of their energy. Spending time with negative people will make you a negative person, and it will drain you. If you find that your friends are literally always complaining about things, and doing nothing to better their lives and change the things they don't like, take a step back. I had a friend who was constantly negative. She would complain about people and could not let things go. She would complain about staying up late doing homework every day, but would continue to not start homework until after 10pm. She could have made her life better and more positive, but she chooses negativity.
4. Your gut knows you best.
Listen to it. When you go against it, guaranteed something will go wrong.
5. Not everyone you get close to is supposed to be in your life forever.
This is such a hard thing to accept. There's almost nothing worse than losing someone you've cried and laughed with and opened up to. But I believe everything happens for a reason, and people are in your life for a reason. When you drift apart from someone, I think it just means they have served their purpose in your life, and you in theirs. Sometimes, your friends become toxic and you need to walk away from them, and that is okay.
6. Therapy is worth trying.
I never thought anything a counselor had to say would help me, especially after I tried two and didn't connect with them. I figured I overthought so much that there was nothing they could tell me that would help me out, but after only a couple of months with the right person, I had so many tools to help me. She told me things I needed to hear. She said positive, reassuring things that no one has told me before, and she told me the hard stuff and what I needed to change, which I've never had before. She was honest and it was great because I knew she wanted the best for me and she didn't tiptoe around what I needed to hear. She gave me reasonable goals and I really related to her. Any hesitation you have towards it is completely normal, but if you know you need help, do not give up on yourself.
7. Learning to be empathetic is so important.
People come from different experiences and have different mindsets and that's okay. Learning to empathize helps you connect with people and strengthens the relationships you have immensely. You also learn to not take some things so hard once you understand that people are coming from different points of view and don't have your thought process. I used to get hurt easily by what people said to me, but now I try to understand that I interpret things differently than what people might mean because I try to think about where they are coming from.
8. People will judge you no matter what you do.
And it doesn't matter. No one knows you as well as you do and very few people care as much about your success as you do. There are so many people that will try to tear you down so they can get ahead of you, instead of working harder themselves to get ahead. Insecurities can bring out the worst in people. Know what you need and be confident in it, and don't worry about what people who don't even know you think.
