We all want our parents to live forever, but the reality is that one day we will have to live without them. For me, that reality hit me way sooner. During my senior year of high school, my mom suddenly passed away. I was nearing the end of my high school career, preparing for my next journey has a college freshman. Graduation, prom, and many other things were just within my reach when tragedy struck my family and I. I was thrown into a whirlwind of emotions, and the sudden realizations that I had to learn to live without my mom happened way sooner than I ever expected too.

Fast forward to a year-and-half later without my mom, and I'm still learning. I'm not going to sugar coat it for you, it's hard. It's the hardest thing I have ever done and will continue to do. There are some days where I feel like I'm strong and I can take on the entire world. Other days, I just need my mom to tell me everything is going to be okay and that I can do anything I put my mind too, that I shouldn't give up and I should keep going. But once again reality hits me, and I will never hear these words again from her. But I know she'd want me to keep keeping on. So I try too, every day.

Living without my mom as a young woman I have accepted the fact that my mom won't ever see my major life events. She will never see me graduate college, walk down the aisle on my wedding day, or meet her grandchildren. During these events, I know I will have a figurative hole in my chest because she would've done anything to see those things. She loved seeing her children being successful and happy.

Being around friends who still have their moms alive is an odd feeling. It's sort of envious, and sort of jealous too. And then there's the ever so awkward conversation when someone finds out that my mom has passed away. I always noticed that people seem to be on edge around me when the topic of moms is brought up. It's like they're afraid I'm going to have a mental breakdown at any given point during the conversation. Which is just not the case. It's selfish of me to tell my friends and loved ones whose moms are still alive to not talk about them for the sake of how I feel, and I won't do it.

Making decisions without the wisdom and guidance of your mom is hard. How am I suppose to get out a tough situation without my mom? Where am I suppose to go for a second opinion? For a supportive and sensible advice? A shoulder to cry on? Someone to listen, support, and love me like no other?

Grief is isolating, and I learned who was and who still is really there for me. A lot of people don't know what to say to me sometimes. And really, what can they say that I haven't already heard a million times by people I barely know? I've learned to just say thank you, and move on.

And finally, I have learned to enjoy the little things in life. I try to enjoy every little moment I have with my friends and family. Life is precious, and it can be taken away from anyone at anytime. My mom passed away at the young age of 36, leaving behind a husband, a son, a young daughter of the age of 2, and me. So live life fully, take risks, hold your loved ones tight and share your love with them often. Laugh loud, cry hard and smile big because life is precious.