5 Things To Know Before Dating Someone Who Lost A Parent
Start writing a post

5 Things To Know Before Dating Someone Who Lost A Parent

You won't truly understand unless you've been in those shoes...

5 Things To Know Before Dating Someone Who Lost A Parent
Morgan Sokolic

Many of you know that I lost my Mom to cancer almost four years ago. Granted things heal over time but there are just some days where I can't even look at a picture of her without bursting into tears. I am single as can be at the moment because it is beyond difficult to find someone who not only understands what its like for me to have lost my Mom but someone who can deal with how things hit me. I was in one relationship after I lost my Mom and since then, everything has changed. The things I value in a relationship like honesty, responsibility, all that jazz. This week I wanted to write an article about a few things I think people should know when they date someone who has lost a parent. I'm always finding new little things and saying "Oh, I wish so and so knew that when we were together." I've jotted a few of those thoughts down and maybe you can relate to some of them as well...

There are limits

Everyone has limits. Certain people don't like to be touched, other people don't like to kiss goodbye, for their own personal reasons. They may become lazy or have mood changes. One day they might need all of the cuddling you can offer them and the next they might isolate themselves from the world completely and totally push you away. When people talk about giving into people who act this way, they call it pity. IT IS NOT PITY. This person needs time to adjust to this dark chapter in their life, no matter how long it may take.

They will grieve in their own way

When my Mom first died, people tried to tell me the ways they grieved when they lost someone. The more opinions I heard on grieving, the more I began to think that the way I grieved was wrong and I was just doing this whole thing wrong. I was actually making myself more upset because I didn't grieve the way the people told me to. Now, I just take things one day at a time and when I need to cry, I cry. That's something you just can't hold back, in my opinion. Sometimes, even after a good cry, you feel so much better.

They need a support system like no other

When I lost my Mom, a ton of people were around because they all came to show their respects. But now, almost four years after her passing, there's nobody here...yeah, I'm sure people think of me and what happened, but do I ever hear anything from anybody? No. I don't. I used to love having a ton of people to go to when they were here because that just felt like a never ending chain of love. If one person had this to say, then this person had this to say, and so on and so forth, it just made me feel better knowing I had so many people care. Think of it this way; would you rather have a small Hershey's Kiss or a full Hershey bar? A Hershey bar because there's more to get from it and even if you want to pace yourself with how much you take in, you can do that. Just like your support system. You control who supports you and who doesn't.

They lost a major connection

When I lost my Mom, I lost my Mom. She was gone, she is gone. The woman who birthed me and brought me into this world, the woman who gave me life. The woman who would sing me to sleep when I didn't want to go to bed, the woman who would sit out on the patio and paint my nails and love the warm summer breeze. When a person loses a parent, from my experience at least, they don't have that person to go to in their life anymore. You have to find a way to respect that this person may feel a little lost even if you're dragging them in the direction you think they should be going in.

They will always have a reason to grieve

As dumb as this may sound, even though I knew how sick my Mom was and that she didn't have much time left, when she passed, it sent my entire world into shock. You might think, Well yeah, Morg, you knew how sick she was and the doctors said it would happen soon. But, many people can tell you things like when they think someone is going to die or how much time they "really" have left, etc. Want to know a secret about that? You never know when they are actually going to leave your life forever. In that moment that you find out that your loved one has passed, your whole outlook on life changes and even though you might have said those words to yourself once or twice in your head to "prepare," nothing ever prepares you for the real thing.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Olivia White

"The American flag does not fly because the wind moves it. It flies from the last breath of each solider who died protecting it."

Keep Reading... Show less

Separation Anxiety in Pets

Separation anxiety in pets is a real thing and recognizing the warning signs is important.


Since March, Covid-19 required most of the world to quarantine in their homes. Majority of people ended up working from home for nearly five months. This meant pet owners were constantly with their pets giving them attention, playing with them, letting them out etc. Therefore, when the world slowly started to open up again and pet owners began returning to normal life work schedules away from the home, pet owners noticed a difference in the way their pet acted. Many pets develop separation anxiety especially during this crazy time when majority people were stuck inside barely leaving the house.

Keep Reading... Show less
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.


The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers


Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series


Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments