You fought for some one who didn't want to be fought for and it took you 6 months and multiple heart to hearts with your friends to make you see he saw you as an option when he was your priority. Your heart aches for him, but your brain says "Let him go you fool!"
Excuses he has told you are listed below but are not limited to the following:
"I'm not ready for a relationship."
"I don't want something serious."
"You knew this the whole time."
"Why are you blaming me? I told you this from day one."
"It was your choice to keep talking to me, you knew it would come to this so don't blame me."
"This isn't my fault."
"I don't like you the way you like me."
"You remind me too much of my ex."
"I can't talk about this right now."
"What do you mean by "What are we?"? I don't want to put a title on us."
"I don't do relationships."
"I have trust issues."
Did I miss anything? I know every excuse in the book and no, the guy will never take the blame. You opened your heart to him and let him in unaware of the indestructible wall around his. You tried time and time again and told yourself anything to give him another chance so you wouldn't have to face the truth- he just didn't want anything to do with you relationship wise.
I know. He met your family, he met your friends, and your dog loves him. But did you meet his family? Did you meet his friends? Or were his parents and siblings always out when you went over? No sorry sweetie, that wasn't just a coincidence. You just didn't want to believe it at the time.
You thought by doing what you did he would open up to you and trust you, but he never did.
You chased off any guy that tried to make a move on you because you were so faithful to him, but did he do the same? Or were the girls that were texting him "just a friend"?
You were scared to call him out on it, you feared for your heart and ignored the constant texts he got and the signs he dished out to you on a silver platter.
He kept your visits short and never took you out for dinner. He either had work, school, or a prior obligation to attend when he was done with you.
You ignored every red flag because you didn't want to break your own heart.
One day you heard he was on a date with another girl. ANOTHER GIRL! That girl wasn't you. You called your best friend bawling your eyes out and blamed yourself for being so stupid. You are filled with rage and send him a message saying "Go fuck your self." Your friend comes over with ice cream and candy and tells you all the good things about you that he never saw. She gets you to stop blaming yourself and makes you see the signs so you know next time.
Later that night he responds with "??? What was that for?". Your friend takes your phone and responds with the following: "I was naive to think you wanted a relationship with me, however looking back on the signs for the past six months I realize now you are not ready to have a serious relationship and you cannot fulfill my needs. I hope karma gets you because I'm done chasing you."
You unfollow him on social media so he can see how happy you are without him. A smile spreads across your face because in this moment you realize your true worth.
YOU ARE NOT AN OPTION.
YOU ARE NOT AN OPTION.
YOU ARE NOT AN OPTION.
You DO NOT deserve to be treated as an option.
You are NOT his servant.
You DO deserve to meet his family.
You DO deserve to be treated as the queen that you ARE.
You DO deserve to be his first priority and NOTHING LESS!
You deserve a guy who will answer the phone to hear all about your day no matter where he is.
You deserve a guy who wants to meet your family and do family orientated functions with them.
You deserve a guy who brings you home to his mother.
You deserve a guy who doesn't make you think twice about the way he feels about you.
With a broken heart you look back on this experience and smile. You smile because you learned so much about yourself. You learned what you need in a relationship and what you WILL NOT tolerate. You learned how you deserve to be treated and you saw your true worth.
With more trust issues and a scared heart, you look forward to the future because YOU KNOW YOUR WORTH.
I promise you a good guy who wants to give you the world and nothing less is out there, and no you won't find him by swiping right on Tinder or in your DM's.
Take time to yourself to appreciate this experience and the lessons learned. As one of my professors tells me, "The best learning is natural learning."
I hope this article sticks with you and I hope you learn the signs before it's too late again.
