Society is rapidly changing and growing. In the past year, we have heard the voices of people of all sorts defining gender. From the rights of those who identify as a different gender to those who use a label in an attempt to hate a certain gender, many voices have been heard. However, the idea of the roles of gender has been a misconception for years. As a man, I can say that the male gender has been greatly confused. What does it really mean to be a man?
I decided, like in most research, to start with a dictionary definition. It said:
Masculinity (Noun): possession of the qualities traditionally associated with men.
Example: "handsome, muscled, and driven, he's a prime example of masculinity"
According to this definition and example, the qualities of a man are handsome, muscled, driven, rugged, and strong. These are gender norms for what the world thinks of masculinity. What defines masculinity is what is opposite of what the world views as feminine. According to that, men are supposed to be assertive and strong where as women are meant to be docile and delicate. One source says, "Masculinities are rewarded over and above femininities. Men, in general, are paid better than women; they enjoy more sexual and social freedom, and they have other benefits that women do not by virtue of their gender." This study is proof of why we need feminism in order to have gender equality.
Our society often shows male leads in books and films to be the stereotypical man. He's rugged and handsome, has the perfect body, and gets the girl in the end. Unless something tragic happens, this hero can never show too much emotion. He must always be stoic and angry. With men like this, what message is this sending to young men and kids? That if you don't meet society's standards, then you are less of a man?
Growing up, I never really fit into this bubble of masculinity. I've always been small and interested in the arts. It's what made me a target for bullying, according to a former teacher. Even as an adult, I'm not the dictionary definition. I'm lanky, I'm a walking Disney character(I bake, I clean, and I do it all while singing), I read romantic novels, and I like to be organized. Without knowing my gender, you would assume by that list that I was a woman. These are all things that society would deem "feminine." Most of my male friend also fit into the category that aligns with more feminine attributes. Do our interest and God-given abilities define us as men?
We should be teaching young men that your interest and your actions are not what defines you as a man. Whether you watch sports and enjoy seeing blood and guts or you enjoy crying over a rom-com, either way you are still a man. Masculinity can't be defined by some cookie-cutter definition. It is through our identity as men that we find our masculinity. It's time we put away the ancient definitions of gender and learn to accept people for their differences.
