It is okay not to be okay. You have likely heard this phrase over and over, and if you suffer from mental illness, it may even be your self motto. Let's face it, depression sucks. There is no way around that statement, is it a horrible illness that affects more than 300 million people.
It's not uncommon. It's in our everyday lives. You may even be surrounded by those with depression and not know it. Why? Because depression doesn't have a face.
Living with depression day in and day out doesn't mean I am constantly sad. It means life is just that much harder. There are days I can smile and laugh all day long. There are days I fall in love with being alive. However, there are days I want nothing more than to fall into a pit and hide. There are days all I do is sleep, days the depression steals all my motivation and sense of control.
There have been days I want to give up, but I refuse to let my depression take me that far.
I may lay in bed sobbing for no single reason, but I also cry because I know I am too strong to let go. I don't ask for attention. I don't post it all over social media. No. I find strength in myself.
I push myself through it. I disconnect from the world and focus on myself, on my health, on my healing. It's not as easy as it seems. Honestly, it's the hardest thing I have ever been through. Many can relate I am sure. If this is so you can also relate to the fact that you have survived 100% of your bad days.
"My past has not defined me, destroyed me, deterred me, or defeated me; it has only strengthened me." -Dr. Steve Maraboli
I believe in you and know that you have made it this far, and can make it even farther. No matter where you stand today, no matter how you feel tomorrow, I believe you are strong enough and your life is precious enough to continue moving forward.
So let it out. Cry, hide out for a day, scream if you have to. Do what you need to survive. You have to force yourself to just believe in yourself, even if that is all you can do. You are not alone. You are never alone.
Even if you are only strong enough to save yourself, it's all worth it. The world is a better place with you in it, don't take that away.
Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for all to see, it is just a tiny spark that whispers ever so softly, "You've got this. Keep going."
