Nineteen.

I can’t remember the last time I heard from you. Last I saw, you were living out your dreams with those who continue to build you up.

Eighteen.

Why did you have to shatter my family again? I’m absolutely heartbroken.

You’re finally here! You get to see our house and my life in Indiana. It’s the first time you’ve been back here since I was eight or nine.

Seventeen.

The five us got to go on a trip to Maine as a family. We had so much fun and experienced a lot of laughs.

I got to facetime with you before I went off to prom. I’m glad I got to include you in my special day that I’ve been looking forward to.

Sixteen

I love these pictures of us, I’m going to print them out and put them in my room. I had such a great Christmas break with you.

You’re the best dad in the whole world! I wish I could see you more, I love you!

Fifteen

I start crying as the car pulls away. I want to give you a hug but I can’t. I’m moving 1,000 miles away in a few days, and I won’t see you until December. You’re my dad and you won’t be nearby anymore. This isn’t fair.

Fourteen

We took some family photos in the woods today. I’m so happy to have a step-mom and a younger step-brother. I think things are finally looking up.

Thirteen

I finally got to go on a Ben & Jerry’s tour! Thanks for taking us, Dad! Perfect timing too, seeing as I just got braces.

Twelve

This is the last Christmas you’ll be spending with us. After this year, Mom will bring us to you in the evening. It’s bittersweet.

We spend one evening in the Family Room playing Karaoke Revolution. Your go-to’s are either The Jackson 5 or “My Life Would Suck Without You”. I love listening to you get really into the song.

Eleven

We play Mario Kart online together. It’s nice to know we can still play video games together even though you don’t live here anymore.

You explain to my sister and I that you and Mom are separating. It’s over. I can’t stop crying.

I get out of the shower and I hear the yelling. No. No this won’t happen to me, this can’t happen to me. I don’t want to be that girl whose parents are divorced. My family won’t be like that.

Ten

Where did you go? You drove off and I waited for you to come back. I stood at the window and waited for you to come back.

Where were you during my birthday party? You weren’t there.

Nine

“Here, listen to this.” You hand me the song lyrics and hit play while you get out to pump gas. I listen to the song and follow along.

No Dad, please don’t. You’re calling the school and yelling at them because they spelled my name wrong in the yearbook.

Eight

There’s a boy who keeps picking on me, Dad. I don’t have any friends. I’m glad I get to sing in the car with you, though. I sing these songs by myself on the swings during recess too, it helps me feel better.

Seven

Nanny and Grandpa both passed away. I miss them Daddy.

Six

"Daddy, I’m in the paper for my art project!" You collect a few copies and put one up on the fridge.

You start singing and I smile. It’s “A Whole New World”, one of my favorites. We sing it in parts and then we sing “Jackson” in parts too.

Five

I have another sister, Daddy. I’m a big sister!

Four

I like it when you come to preschool with me Daddy.

Three

You’re my buddy, Daddy. I love you.

Two

“We’re too busy sia to puttie down”

One

Most of my days are spent with you while Mommy’s at work. My big blue eyes look back at yours and I smile.

Zero

Hi Dad.