Lately, I've been more than guilty of losing who I really am as a person. I've lost the burning passion within me to write quality articles, and well...to do many things. Granted, I am not ashamed of anything that I put out - I just feel as if my writing has been missing the fire that I know I am capable of. And I feel like in general, everything lately is simply uninspired and my motivation is lacking.
Having a lack of motivation is okay. If you hate it, then do something about it. I know that it's easy to say and harder to do something but baby steps are important. Being self-aware of your actions is incredibly important in making strides to change. But it's okay to not always know what you're doing or not want to participate in everyday life.
While trying to sleep, the idea to write about how everyone has a defining moment came to me right before bed earlier this week.
I'm not sure if I've had the defining moment that makes me, well, me. I am more than positive, however, that all of my decisions and most of what I have been through have impacted who I have become.
I think that much like other people that are fighting their inner demons - namely Depression and Anxiety, like I am, it can be so easy to succumb to the horrible thoughts that they fill your mind with. But, I do have Depression to thank for making me a stronger human and to come out of these rough times a better person each and every time. Anxiety, on the other hand, is a little pest that I always have to invalidate and remind myself that my anxious thoughts are just that - thoughts.
While I know that I am not my depression, it has really shaped who I have become as a person. I have to remind myself that things are not on the downhill spiral that I imagine them to be. I have to look beyond myself and remember that everyone is going through something too, even if they don't seem to be showing any signs of it. I am more empathetic and more understanding; while I may not seem too patient to those that constantly deal with me...oh boy, do I have much more patience than I used to have!
I know that I have not been through nearly as much as some people have been through, but that does not make my story less significant. I also know that I have done plenty of reflections time and time again. But, I believe so strongly that we are capable of molding and shaping our futures.
When it seems as if life is throwing curveball after curveball, it's so easy to give up instead of fighting the urge to do so. But we make decisions that make us who we are, and we need to give ourselves some credit. You're breathing and you're alive. That's enough for the moment.
You have decided to wake up another day. Congratulations! Sometimes, it's the littlest things. You have decided to participate in life by simply being alive! I'm proud of you.
Some people make decisions that will impact them for a longer amount of time. Some people make a decision to attend an institute of higher education. Some people decide to enlist and leave virtually everything they know behind. Some people have experienced unspeakable acts. Some people experience small ones that end up piling on top of each other. Whatever it is, these things define us as people.
We can never invalidate other people's experiences. Our path is not always the same as those around us - not even family members, sometimes. We have to be cognizant of the fact that we have different experiences as others, and that's completely okay.