They say time passes, but the trauma doesn't always fade. A year ago my life changed forever, a crazy story of real events that my brain blocked out. I wasn't driving a year ago on September 4, 2016, but sometimes when I turn left or I'm a passenger while the driver takes a left turn I get flash backs and/or my heartbeat speeds up. I do not know if this will ever go away, considering I did not see the accident nor do I remember anything that happened during the accident, it doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon.
I sit here a year later avoiding driving this labor day weekend. It might just be the fear of the reality that this holiday weekend changed my life forever last year. The bruises have faded but the scars remain on my hips and in my mind. I can walk normally and I can sleep on my sides once again. I notice more pain in my right hip, which was badly injured in the accident, after sleeping on it all night. Other than that my physical body has healed.
Though my life is now different in several ways. Since I have had a concussion since the accident, today now marks a year of daily headaches. I have been taking medication to help mellow them a bit more and it seems to help just a little. I avoid going to the movie theater and only go to concerts every so often. I had to give up soccer and all contact sports. A part of me that I never dreamed I would have to give up.
My exercise has been affected in that I am not allowed to weight lift, as an athlete not being allowed to hit the gym pulls me behind all my teammates and my opponents. For Track and Field purposes my head generally has a migraine episode when I try to get to the end of a workout. Which once I get a migraine while I am working out I have to stop immediately. Not exactly the best situation for a collegiate athlete. How am I to excel in my sport if I can't even finish a practice.
School is more difficult with the concentration aspect but I have had a year to work through it and change my routine. I know writing papers takes longer because of my light sensitivity, especially with screens. Though I struggle remembering things I need to memorize for tests I make it through. I may not be able to get the grades I was once able to I do not let any of this stop me.
The headaches and migraines come and go, when I am feeling good I try to hop back on the saddle and go about my day as I once would. The thing is though that I have a lot to be thankful for. My life may have changed and I can have a hard time driving with other people and I may never go back to where the accident happened. But none of that matters considering what the alternative of that day could've been.
Yes, I am lucky to be alive. Yes, I am thankful for my life no matter how difficult it gets. Yes, I will survive because I am an overcomer.