What We're Missing In Modern Romance | The Odyssey Online
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What We're Missing In Modern Romance

It's the ink that counts.

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What We're Missing In Modern Romance
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In an era defined by constant communication, it seems as though we’ve got it all: we’ve got Facetiming for when we want to do more than just talk and we’ve got texting for when we don’t want to talk at all. Our ability to communicate with each other passes through time zones and borders of countries, making the people we love accessible to us at all times.

But do we really have it all?

My mother recently found an old box containing trinkets and souvenirs from her childhood and young adulthood. In that box, there were fragments of memories she otherwise would have forgotten. Nothing she rediscovered in that box elated her more than when she found her old letters. Love letters she had received from past relationships – handwritten, complete with ink stains and paper that had weathered slightly from time.

Seeing those handwritten artifacts of love and her joyful reaction to discovering them filled me with a sudden and unexpected feeling of envy. Unlike my mother, my ability to communicate with others is not impeded by the technology of the 1980s, which was innovative at the time but would be lacking in luxury for our current standards. Instead, I can text or message or Facetime the people I love at any time. When I don’t know what to say, I can send an emoji.

Perhaps our ability to reach each other more effortlessly in this day and age is good thing for our romantic relationships. After all, it allows us to talk face-to-face even when we cannot be together and it allows us to get to know each other more in less time.

But perhaps, by not being forced to write our feelings out, we erase a lot of our vulnerability from the page (or from the screen, in our cases). My modern ability to consolidate my emotions into brief texts and effortless calls, heart eyes and smiley faces, allows me to go through my relationships without really having to confess my true feelings in complete sentences. This spares my dignity - but it spares a lot more too.

As technology progresses, are we in fact hindering our ability to be vulnerable and express our feelings to the fullest extent? With a lack of written expression and profession, in an age of emojis and abbreviations, are we losing our potential to achieve true love?

Yes, we live in an era defined by constant communication. In many ways, however, we also live in an era defined by somewhat fleeting relationships and growing insecurities when it comes to modern romance. Every millennial knows the minefield that is navigating the world of relationships, filled with foggy confusion and sudden explosions that can kill our hope for real love. We have so much potential for communication, yet we find it so hard to share our feelings with each other. Instead, we hide behind emotionless emojis on a screen to express how we feel.

When we write letters, we do not have read receipts, un-send options or immediate replies to soothe our insecurities and anxieties. We do not have the option to replace our words with an animated face. All we have is our vulnerability, exhibited plainly on a page. Perhaps it is an old fashioned, obsolete aspect of romance that will stay packed away inside the memory boxes of our parents. But in our era of modern love, or lack thereof, perhaps the art of letter writing is one worth resuscitating. Perhaps the more we write to each other, the more we can honestly express our feelings, and the more we can love - putting our dignity aside and exiting the confines of our screens.


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