I was never skinny, growing up I was always bigger than my other girl friends or taller or just all around more developed. I've always received half ass compliments which are tailored towards my size. If I had a goddamn penny for every time I've heard the phrase "you're really pretty for a bigger girl," I'd be freakin' rich.
I don't know if any of you have ever heard the phrase "you're pretty for a big girl", but what if I told you "wow, you're really pretty for an average sized girl" or "oh my god, for such a skinny girl, you're actually really pretty." It doesn't make sense, does it? Why do I have to be pretty for a "big girl", if I was small would I not be pretty? You could just tell me I'm pretty and leave my weight out of it, but nooo that'd be crazy wouldn't it?! Beauty and weight, contrary to what you may hear, actually have nothing to do with each other.
If you've ever told me, "you dress well for your size!", you weren't the first. It's pretty unreal how many times people tell me I dress well for my size. I'm not my weight, my style has nothing to do with the size of my stomach. You could easily tell me you like my style or you like the way I dress. I don't put on pants everyday thinking "Oh these pants are great for my body type", so why are you thinking they are?
Calling me "pretty for a big girl" is like saying other big girls aren't pretty, which is not true at all. You might as well say "pretty for black girl" or "pretty for a white girl". It's the same thing. Adding “for a” automatically turns it into an insult to more than just that one person, but an entire group of people. You may as well say something like, "You’re pretty smart for an idiot."
Pretty is a perception. My fat percentage may determine a lot of things, like what size clothes I can wear, where I can shop, what stereotypes I’ll be faced with, but it doesn’t determine what I’m worth or how “pretty” I am or am not.
Not everyone is going to think the same person is appealing, of course. One person will think I'm as pretty as a princess, and another will think I'm as ugly as a donkey. That's all the more reason to leave your compliment as a simple compliment.
So next time you see a plus-sized girl and think she looks good? Don't tell her she looks good for a big girl or she dresses well for her size. Keep it simple.
She’s gorgeous.
