Yes, I am a single college student. Yes, I might want to experience a relationship. And no, I will not use Tinder as a solution. I'm not judging or belittling anybody who uses (or used) dating apps— some people have found successful relationships and a major kudos to them.
However, I sometimes feel as though people judge me for NOT using Tinder and approaching relationships the hard way. I am single, but I will never use Tinder because I personally don't believe I can find a successful relationship with an app. When people tell me to get one and I ask them why; I get these same 20 reasons that will NEVER convince me to make a profile of my own.
1. "You meet so many people!"
The average person knows 600 different people. If looking at people on a screen is the new definition of "meeting people," I can say I know probably 100 times that.
2. "It's funny."
Don't get me wrong, I love laughing! Having said that, there are many ways I can laugh and looking at people's profiles on a dating app does not have to be one of them.
3. "But you're single."
I'm glad you made that observation, but has anyone heard of meeting people...in person...when the time is right?
4. "You can use it just for fun!"
I get very distracted spying on people on Instagram, Snapchat, and occasionally Facebook, so using a dating app "just for fun" will certainly become yet another distraction.
5. "Everyone has one."
If I don't have one, not everyone has one. And if everyone was doing something life-threatening, does that mean I should do it too?
6. "It'll help you talk to people."
Part of the problem is that getting messages from strangers isn't actually "talking to people." It's very easy to "talk" to random people behind a screen.
7. "Relationships are made so much easier."
Yes, they probably are but I'm a staunch believer that anything worthwhile isn't easy.
8. "How else will you know what boys are around?"
I don't know, maybe by actually encountering them. Maybe I'll see some boys only by swiping left and right, but it's not like I'm living under a rock if I don't have a Tinder.
9. "But look at this cute guy!"
Oh, and cute guys are impossible to find anywhere else. I find that hard to believe.
10. "You can find out if someone likes you."
I wouldn't say somebody "likes me" if he makes a hasty decision to swipe right because of a few pictures of me.
11. "[Insert name of a boy I like] has one!"
Just because he made the choice to make one doesn't mean that I will. I'd rather be matched with him in the real world, not a virtual one.
12. "Aren't you desperate, though?"
I can't approach my dating life as though I'm desperate. If you're suggesting Tinder is for desperate people, I definitely will not use it.
13. "You get messages from so many guys!"
A sexual message or a corny pick-up line from a guy I don't know is not appealing to me. Sorry.
14. "Give it a chance."
If I said, "give it a chance" to different risky behaviors, would you still try them? "Give it a chance" is not a reason to do something, I'm sorry.
15. "Tinder is our generation's way of finding relationships."
Well, not for everybody. People who actually like to get to know potential soulmates in person are not extinct. I'm still here!
16. "You'll learn your preferences in men."
I don't think it's an incredible feat that I already know my preferences in men from observing them in the real world without the aid of a dating app.
17. "But you're too shy to find guys in the real world."
Gee, thanks. I appreciate the compliment.
18. "Aren't you interested in who you're matched with?"
Not really. Sorry.
19. "Just make your profile a joke."
Is there any point in that?
20. "I met my boyfriend on Tinder!"
Good for you. We all meet people in different ways, but I'm going to choose to meet mine differently.
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