In relationships, it’s understood that both parties are supposed to compromise on things and let the other have his / her way every once in a while. We do this with our friends when we’re deciding where to go out to dinner, with family when it comes to where you’re vacationing that summer and whose family you’re spending the holidays with in regards to romantic relationships. When you don’t compromise, you look selfish and conceited; other people think you only care about what makes you happy.

But what’s so wrong with that?

For so long I have struggled to make everyone around me happy without thinking about myself. I put the people I care and love the most before myself, and for a long time I didn’t mind. Even if I spent the nights alone and lonely, at least I knew I had done something to put a smile on someone else’s face. I compromised even when it wasn’t healthy for me. Within the last couple of years, I have begun to notice that even if I do everything in my power to be there for others, compromise for their sake and do whatever it takes to make them happy, they’ll still find things to complain about. They still aren’t happy with what I give them and they make me feel like what I’m doing isn’t enough.

So, I’m done compromising. Caring more about other people has caused me so much anxiety and stress, and has led to more nights crying myself to sleep than I honestly care to admit, and it’s gotten to the point when trying isn’t even worth it anymore. If you’re happy, then I’m happy for you; if you’re melancholy or upset, I’ll be there to hold you when you cry but don’t expect me to go above and beyond to put a smile on your face.

When I was younger, I let people walk all over me and take advantage of me without realizing how wrong it was, so I stopped letting them say and do hurtful things to me without repercussions. That earned me a new nickname in middle school: b*tch. Doing this will get me the name of selfish b*tch, but worse things have happened.

Some people look at selfishness as a sort of sin, but I look at it as a way of making myself happy. For some reason I have always been the girl who has relied on other people to make me happy and feel fulfilled, but no one really does. No one in my life has ever really made my happiness their top priority like I have for them, and now I kind of understand why. If you’re busy making everyone else happy and compromising your own happiness for theirs, then who’s left to make you feel happy?

So the next time you’re out with your boyfriend or girlfriend and he / she doesn’t know which movie to see, pick whichever one you want to watch and go with it. If you want to go to the beach for summer vacation, but your family wants to go camping, then find some friends who will chip in with a trip to the Outer Banks. Stop compromising what you want for what someone else may or may not actually want. Do what makes you happy and what makes you feel fulfilled. Screw the rest.