You have to be cruel to be kind. It's an idiom devised by the honest and unapologetic to justify telling the facts. Today a coworker called me a bitch - correction: screamed that I was a bitch. I hadn't physically harmed him, hadn't made a "Your mama..." joke, hadn't even worn my "I hate Kevin" T-shirt (not his real name). I simply told him the truth - that he was possibly the most lazy human being I'd ever met in my 19 years on Earth (paraphrased of course - I wasn't angry yet). Was it my place? No, not really. Was it the truth? Yes, yes it was. I know a few of you are thinking, "Who are you to judge?" To placate the people criticizing me for being ridiculously self-righteous, here are some things that have happened with some of my new - they're new, I've been working there for three years - coworkers this summer.
1. I was asked to cover someone's section (waitressing) so she could go tan for 20 minutes and then come back.
2. Kevin watched me put down all the chairs in the restaurant, bring up six buckets of ice from downstairs and do the majority of all the side work while sitting on a bar stool complaining about how tired he was - before we opened.
3. I listened to another female co-worker ask to go home upon immediate arrival in the morning claiming illness. The act was complete with fake cough, headache and slow deliberate dabbing of nonexistent sweat from her brow. She then proceeded to post beach pictures on Instagram that day.
It was those incidents along with copious amounts of others which finally lead to my miniature mental breakdown. To be clear I did not, at first, directly call Kevin "lazy." I simply asked him if he would do something, anything. We were somewhat busy, but he had no tables and for about an hour had been aimlessly gossiping with his cohorts and meandering around. So, I asked if he would roll some silverware or pickup a table of half-empty cups. To be clear, I was working at the time. He replied that there was nothing to do, he didn't feel like it, and, "It's not my job to pick up after people," (as a waiter that's just an blatant lie). Then I asked if there was anything he could contribute to the functioning of the restaurant that he would be willing to do. Kevin didn't feel like it. Then I called him "lazy" and he called me a bitch.
If you're a blunt woman the B-word is probably one you're familiar with. You're just telling things as they are, but add in the fact that you have a vagina and BAM, you're a bitch. Here's the thing: if my male coworker had said the same thing to Kevin he probably would have at least pretended to do something (maybe). I was treated with outward contempt and not taken seriously because of my sex. I mean this particular co-worker is ridiculously lazy so he probably wouldn't have done anything anyway, but he wouldn't have been so exuberantly offended if a man had said the same words that I had (and I'd bet my lucky harmonica on that).
There is a preconceived notion that's been passed down from generation to generation that women are supposed to be sugar and spice and everything nice. Today, many women who have excelled at their career, passions and relationships often have to worry about emasculating their male coworkers/peers.
Am I being to bossy... what if they think I'm a bitch? Many women are walking on a tightrope, tightly strung over the individual prides of many men. These girls try their hardest to not fall and trample, but instead to safely stay above on the fine twine as quietly as possible. There are studies saying that companies do better with more women leaders, but even today there is, "A stunning lack of women in corporate leadership roles worldwide." So, statistically we make more money, but socially we don't get the jobs.
It's time for women to stop worrying about whether they're coming off as bossy or bitchy and start telling it like it is, unapologetically. So today I quit! Just kidding; that was a lie. Today was my last day because I've got to go back to college, but I thought about quitting. Instead I asked Kevin if he kissed his mother with that mouth (my comebacks make me sound like a 80-year-old). I only hope that perhaps my meanness will resonate with him somewhere in his soul (not likely) and he'll change his ways.
I mean you've got to be cruel to be kind, right?
