I have never been the popular type. Don't get me wrong, I have an amazing group of friends, but I am not the kind of person everyone wants to be around. I've never really had much of a problem fitting in with girls, but guys often don't like me. Case in point, I am 19 years old and never had a boyfriend. My guy friends tell me that I'm single because I'm "too confident, loud and ambitious." Others have told me that I'm too independent for their taste. Basically, whenever someone has had a major problem with me and I've asked them about it, their issue with me has boiled down to the fact that I am just too strong-willed.
My strong-willed nature has led to me being called just about every term people use to insult women. In high school when I turned down a guy, I was called a slut. When I proceeded to explain to him that I just did not see the point in dating in high school, the same guy began calling me a prude. In later years, when I've stuck up for myself, I've been called a bitch, and just this semester when I confronted another student at my college, his response was to believe that I was a lesbian. Are you seeing a trend here?
In the last few years of my short life on this planet, I have come to realize that when a woman stands up for herself, the reaction of others is to slander her by insulting her sexually. When a woman does not fit into the role the men around her want her to fill, they mock her in an attempt to put her back in her place below them. Perhaps the saddest part of my personal narrative is that I attended a Christian high school and currently attend a Christian university, where men are expected to respect and honor women, yet oftentimes the opposite is true.
Does this condemnation apply to all men? No. I have many wonderful guy friends who respect and love me and who mean the world to me. Is it still an issue? Yes. I should be able to live my life and stand up for myself without fear of backlash. I should be able to voice my opinion without my sexuality being questioned, and I should be able to refuse the offer of a date without being verbally attacked.
Women are strong –– a lot stronger than people think sometimes. Perhaps the reason we may sometimes appear weak is that we have been taught it is better to keep your eyes down and your mouth shut than risk having your name smeared by people who are too narrow-minded to imagine a woman fending for herself. I, for one, am tired of being quiet. I am not the popular girl or the sweet princess, I am the Amazon warrior who is not afraid to get dirty and fight for what she wants. And if knowing I can do better than you makes me a prude or if standing up for myself because I know what I deserve makes me a bitch, then so be it.
