This a quick note to the woman he’ll hurt next.

I can’t make any assumptions about how you met, who you are or the person he is nowadays. However, I know that you’re a woman with her own story; a woman with her own powerful aspirations, values and cavernous beauty — if you weren’t, he probably wouldn’t have pursued you in the first place.

Your relationship with him is none of my business, but I want nothing more than to warn you about him before it’s too late. I want you to know what it took me years too long to realize.

1. You are perfect the way you are

You don’t need to change for him, no matter how small (or large) his requests or dissatisfaction with you may be. If he can’t love you for you, someone else will— I promise.

2. He will lie and cheat… over and over again

He’ll say that he’s sorry; he’ll convince you that you’re meant to be together. Don’t give in— if he can’t be honest with you or remain faithful, he doesn’t deserve you.

3. Consent is mandatory

Just because you are in a relationship with him doesn’t mean he can take advantage of you or your body, period. If he does this to you, get out and never look back.

4. Manipulation is second nature to him

He’ll toy with you until you break, but he’ll be there, sweeter than ever, as soon as you do. The deeper your relationship gets, the more manipulative he’ll get. The more he learns your weaknesses and insecurities, the more tools he’ll use to hurt you. He’ll drain you out of yourself.

5. He doesn’t only abuse you

He hurts everything he touches, including himself. He is self-destructive and has no regard for the wellbeing of others. Little do you know, he uses everyone… not just you.

6. Don’t be afraid to leave

As many times as you may consider it, I know it will be hard to let him go. He’ll make you believe that there’s no one else out there for you; he’ll turn your world upside down and inside out until you believe you have nowhere else to go. Trust me, beautiful girl — you do. Your life doesn’t depend on this person, and you shouldn’t keep anyone this hurtful around.

I have no idea if you’ll ever see this. If you do, I’m not sure if you’ll be reading this during a good time or at a point where you feel as broken as I once did. Nevertheless, I pray that you stay cautious. Be careful as you navigate this relationship, and look at things with an objective eye. Never lose sight of the person you were before you met him — before you know it, she could be gone.

Stay safe and be well.

Sincerely,

The woman who survived him