An Open Letter To The First Man Who Never Loved Me

An Open Letter To The First Man Who Never Loved Me

I'm sorry. I thank you. I hope you're happy.
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Dear "Dad,"

I'm not bitter anymore, I'm just sorry.

I'm sorry that you didn't want to be a part of my successes and would rather be my biggest failure. I'm sorry that you chose a life without me in it. I'm sorry that I accomplished so much in the past year and you've heard nothing about it. I'm sorry that you have no right to be proud of me.

I'm sorry that you will never be a part of my life again. I'm sorry that I let you hurt me this badly. I'm sorry that I put so much trust and effort into building a relationship that you just didn't want. I'm sorry that I had faith in you. Most of all, I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough for you.

I look back on all of the times that we never shared together and I don't get sad anymore. Rather, I get a sense of pride in myself. I know how strong I've become just because of your lack of existence. I know that there were people in my life who took your spot and excelled in raising me. I know that you will never see the damage you've done to me, and I promise you that I will make sure you will never see my successes as your own.

SEE ALSO: Be Patient With The Girl Whose Heart Was Broken Before You Came Into Her Life

I remember all of the times I chose you over myself. I think back on all of the times that I tried to keep you, but you still ended up walking out on me. I would like to thank you for this. Thank you for teaching me that no matter how bad I want someone in my life, it doesn't always happen.

Thank you for teaching me that I won't always get what I want. Thank you for letting me down enough times that I only view myself as dependable, and no one else. Thank you for standing back and letting me struggle when it was obvious that you could have helped me. Thank you for making me as independent and self-reliant as I am.

The credit that you don't deserve is given all to my mother. You couldn't even imagine the amount of stress that you put on her. She had to watch her daughter hate herself, believe that it was her fault and cry nightly because of a man who didn't want to be in her life. The first man to break my heart, before I even knew I had a heart to be broken, was you.

I hope you're content with your decisions. I hope you are living the life you wanted to live. I hope that you look back on the daughter that you never had and take this as a learning experience. I hope you learn. I hope you grow as a person. I hope you don't make the same mistakes you have.

SEE ALSO: A Letter To My Step Dad

If you ever wake up one morning and want to come back into my life, don't. I don't need an apology from you. I don't need to hear your voice again. I don't need to know how you're doing, where you are or "what's new." I don't need to answer your questions. I don't need to let you into my heart just to lose you again. I don't need you.

I'm sorry.

I thank you.

I hope you're happy.

Love,
Your "Daughter"

Cover Image Credit: Zierra Treshock

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7 Things You Do If You’re One Of Those 'I Always Order Chicken Tenders' People

It's hard to love food but also hate it at the same time.

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Growing up, my mom would usually have to cook me a separate dinner from my siblings. Why? Because I was ridiculously picky and wouldn't eat the same foods as everyone else. Trust me, it gets old. It's not my fault certain things just taste gross, you learn to live with it.

1. You eat something you hate just to see if you still hate it

I'll take a bite of a burger every once in a while just to reaffirm that it still tastes like dirt. I just have to know. Don't even get me started on vegetables.

2. When trying to explain what you actually like to eat, people give you major side eye

Don't ask me about my eating habits unless you want to get into a long, confusing conversation.

3. Eating at someone else’s house when you were younger was a pain

You hate to tell their parents just how much you hate the food that they gave you. So, you sucked it up and ate it anyway only to come home and whine to your parents.

4. There’s one thing on any menu you always fall back on...even if it’s on the kids menu

Pizza, maybe. Chicken tenders, always.

5. Trying a new food is a very proud moment

It's like, wow! Look at me being all adventurous.

6. When you realize you actually like some new food, that’s an even more amazing moment

Crazy times. This rarely happens.

7. Sometimes it’s the texture, sometimes it’s the flavor, all the time it’s left on your plate

Oops. At restaurants it's either left on your plate or your order is very specified.

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10 Reasons 'The Office' Is The Most Overrated TV Show Available On Netflix

I was told to express my feelings about the worst show ever so here we go. I EMBRACE THE HATE FROM ALL OF YOU.

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The Office, aka 'Terrible Show of Idiotic People in Scranton' to me, is the worst show ever.

I absolutely despise its mere existence, and recently in our Slack, I was told to express my feelings about my distaste of it in general and make sure to call out the entire show's overrated concept and reception by these so-called 'fans'. I must warn you: I will not back down from these statements because this a damn free country so I am embracing the hate from here on out.

It might surprise you that many of your friends and family might agree with me on the fact that "The Office" is the worst show ever.

1. Michael Scott should've been fired for his sexual harassment-level humor at the end of Season 1.

2. Jim and Pam are the worst couple because all they do is stare at the camera like they're on trial. Good thing Jim married Emily Blunt in real life.

3. Dwight has his popularity, but like "I'm Dwight Schrute from The Office can I take your order?" popularity.

4. Creed is actually the most normal out of the show, he's cool.

5. Mindy Kaling has the most despicable voice, so I mute the TV whenever she speaks to Ryan.

Nothing against Kaling's success as a writer/director, though.

6. Jim should be slapped for stealing Roy's fiancee

7. Kevin dropping the chili is probably the worst cold open ever. I've seen even worst cold openings from SNL than that one.

8. Michael Scott is not funny (that's what I said!)

9. I did not laugh during the fire alarm opening.

10. Netflix made the best call announcing that the mole that is The Office would be gone by 2021.

I'll send Netflix $1,000,000 myself when the show finally gets taken down.

thank u, next.

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