5 Big Things I Wish I Would Have Said Before I Lost You

5 Big Things I Wish I Would Have Said Before I Lost You

I wish I could have said these things to you, Grandma, just one more time.

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For those that have experienced the loss of a loved one, there are many things we wish we could have said before it was too late. The problem is, we never get these things off our chest, and wrestle around with what could have been if we had said these things. So, before it's too late, make sure you tell a loved one these things. I know, in dealing with the loss of grandma a few years ago, that there were plenty of things I wish I would have said, here are a few of them.

1. "Thank you"

Too often, the people that take care of us are taken for granted. After all, parents and grandparents are there to take care of us, right? Even then, we should still say thank you for the investments that these loved ones have put into us. Doing this will make your loved one feel appreciated, and well, loved.

2. "You inspire me"

Witnessing an immigrant grandmother come and raise 5 kids of her own and 13 grandchildren, I was truly inspired as to how I want to be as an adult. Selfless, caring, attentive and unconditionally loving. These traits of her are things that I try to embody in my everyday life and should be things every good human displays. Everyone has good things about them. Think about those traits in your loved one, and how they inspire you to go about everyday life.

3. "Sorry"

Even with unconditional love, there was plenty of times that I wish I would have apologized for asking my loved one for too much or turning my back when I shouldn't have. These things stick with me still today and serve as some of my biggest regrets as things I could have and should have done differently.

4. "I'll miss you" 

So many times, I left my loved one without telling them how I would miss them. Now, since they're gone, I reflect on the last time I said goodbye to my grandma, not knowing that it was the last time I would see her. This still ways so heavily on me, because you never know when your last chance to see someone will be. So, make sure you tell those loved ones how thankful you are and how much you will miss them until you see them again.

5. "I love you" 

Cheesy, I know. But this one is the most significant. You can never tell someone that you love them enough. Everybody needs to know that they're loved. We all struggle with insecurities and knowing that you're loved by someone can go a long way in patching those insecure thoughts for the time being. So, get out and tell your loved one how much you love them.

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Dear Mom, From Your Daughter In College

Here are all the things our phone calls aren't long enough to say.
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Dear Mom,

Do you remember when I was three and we would play together?

It was the age of princesses and carpet that was actually lava, and you were the prettiest woman in the whole wide world. Do you remember when I was in high school and the world seemed too big and scary? You would know exactly when to take me on a mother-daughter date and have me laughing about anything and everything, and you were the smartest woman in the whole wide world.

Now, I'm buried in homework and deadlines hours away from you and we don't get to talk as much you want, but you're still the prettiest, smartest woman in the whole wide world.

I'm sorry that I don't call you as much as I should, and you know a lot of what goes on in my world via posts and pictures. Our schedules just seem to never line up so we can have the three-hour conversations about everything like I want to. I know we don't agree on absolutely everything, but I cherish every piece of advice you give me, even though it probably seems like I'm hardly listening.

I know that sometimes we get on each other's nerves, but thank you for putting up with me for all of these years. Thank you for listening to me cry, complain, question things and go on and on about how everything in college is. I know I don't come home as much as I used to, but I think about you all the time. After all, you're my first friend, and therefore, my best friend.

Thank you for celebrating my successes with me, and not downing me too hard for my failures. Thank you for knowing what mistakes I shouldn't make, but letting me make them anyway because you want me to live my life and be my own person. Thank you for knowing when to ask about the boy I've been talking about, and when to stop without any questions. Thank you for letting me be my crazy, weird, sometimes know-it-all self.

Thank you for sitting back and watching me spread my wings and fly. There is no way I could have known how to grow into the woman I am today if I hadn't watched you while I was growing up so I would know what kind of person I should aspire to be. Thank you for being the first (and the best) role model I ever had. You continue to inspire and amaze me every day with all that you do, and all that you are.

I don't know how I got so lucky to have a person in my life like you, but I thank the Lord every night for blessing me with the smartest, prettiest person to be my best friend, my role model, my confidant, my person and most importantly, my mother.

Love,

Your daughter

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Call Your Mama, Ask Her About Her Day, And Let Her Be Your Best Friend

I found that my real strength lies within my mother.

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Every family is unique in their own ways. Whether they have faced several hard deaths, have tendencies to be alcoholics, or the kids come from broken homes, every family is different and ultimately find home and comfort in one another.

My family is no exception to being unique if that's even the right word to describe us. Some may say crazy is a better word choice or maybe a little intimidating if you met the big, bearded, boot wearing, gun-totin' men on my dad's side. My family has been described as many things but the word that I think best fits is strong, especially the women.

We have been through and survived more than we ever thought we would get through. And despite the hard times, we made it through.

Growing up, I was always a Daddy's girl. He taught me to stand my ground and take up for myself. He proved to me that I could get dirty on the ball field and dress up in the same day. He taught me that it's okay to work with him in the shop with a fresh manicure and that it's okay to be a little girl with a side of tomboy and a lot of sass. Even today, I'm still a Daddy's girl but I have found that my real strength lies within my mother.

I find myself on the phone with my mom a lot. Something good happens, call mom. Something bad happens, call mom. Something stressful happens, call mom. As I got older, I realized this was because she was my best friend, my strength, and my strongest supporter.

When I was little, my mom and I clashed a lot and whenever we argued. She always said it was because we were just alike, but I didn't believe her. We would play this game and she would ask me if I was her friend and I would always say no. I didn't want to be friends with my mom. I would always think I couldn't be friends with my mom, that'd be weird.

Now that I'm older, I want nothing more than to be my mom's best friend. I want to tell her everything and talk about every detail of life because she has this way of making everything better and a little more exciting.

I want to make her proud and be the light in her life just like she is the light in mine. I want to be successful in hopes that one day I will be half the women she is. I hope to honor my husband as she does. I hope to be a shoulder people can cry on, and I hope to be the strength my child looks up to.

I am slowly realizing that if I've been through it, chances are she has too. We are pretty much the same person. I love sharing life and figuring myself out with her by my side.

We have this saying that we tell each other, "This too shall pass", which is actually tattooed on my body, and if nothing else, she has taught me that this is always true. No matter how hard things are, how bad life is, or what is happening, this too shall pass, and everything will get better if you just call your mama.

I can't fathom the day that I have to be without her and have to figure out how to be myself again without my crutch. Take every opportunity you have to call you mama and share your life with her because I promise she wants to hear about your day and your successes. Not only call her to tell her about your day but ask her about hers as well, let her vent to you, let her tell you everything, and let her give you all the advice she has to give because one day the good Lord is going to call your mama and you will want to have talked to her first.

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