I Will Not Apologize For My Anxiety
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

I Will Not Apologize For My Anxiety

This letter has been a long time coming.

I Will Not Apologize For My Anxiety

To the people who just don't understand,

This letter has been a long time coming, and let me start off by saying, this is NOT an apology.

Anxiety is something I have struggled with for a very long time. Even before I knew what it really was, I was suffering from it. My anxiety is triggered by anything and everything. There doesn’t have to be a reason, and I don’t know when it’s coming. It just happens and I can’t control it. My anxiety makes me fear that something is seriously wrong, even when everything is great and I have no reason to be worried. When I start to worry, I begin to think about what could be going wrong. I think about it over, and over, and over again. I think about it until it sends me to a point where I feel I am incapable of letting it go.

When the depression sets in, I feel alone. I feel unwanted, unimportant, lost and confused. I could be surrounded by people and yet I still feel like I am alone and hiding. I am hesitant to trust because I am afraid others really don’t care the way they say they do.

I will admit a relationship with someone suffering from anxiety is not easy. It is hard on friends and family, boyfriends and girlfriends, or really anyone who you encounter. The thing is, a person with anxiety really can’t do anything about it. They will always have that fear that something is wrong. Even when there is nothing wrong, that fear remains, and getting frustrated and angry will only make the situation worse.

For a while, I would apologize. I would accept that I was being “dramatic” or “emotional,” and tell you I was sorry for being a bother. But really, that wasn’t fair to me. I didn’t want to make things difficult. I wasn’t trying to start an argument. It was my anxiety that got in the way. It was my anxiety that made me feel unloved and unwanted. It was my anxiety that took over and would never set me free.

So, I am here to tell you that I won’t be blaming myself anymore. You see, if I apologize, that would mean that I have done something wrong. But that’s the problem, it’s not my fault. I can’t prevent it. I can’t control it. And when it happens, I can’t stop it.

What you need to know is that anxiety is, and will always be, a part of me. You have to be willing to understand that and accept all of me. I know it’s not easy for you, and I would never minimize the challenges you face having to be a part of my life. But as hard as it is on you, it’s even harder on me. I have to live with it every single day. You can walk away.

You can walk away whenever it gets too much for you.

You can walk away whenever you get tired of hearing me “complain.”

You can walk away whenever you just feel like walking away.

You can walk away. But I can’t.

I don't expect you to understand, but please, don’t ask me to apologize.


A girl and her anxiety.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Ready or not, here come the holidays, friends, and if you're as obsessed with the spirit of the season as I am, you are much more ready than not. Thanks to Hallmark Channel's Monopoly game making it possible to celebrate all year long, you can be ready now, too!

Keep Reading... Show less
Stephanie Tango

The pandemic has been in our world for more than half of 2020 and people are still acting stupid. If anything, they're getting stupider. They think that the virus is gone. It's not. Stop going to frat parties. Stop trying to go places without a mask. I wish things were normal, too. They're not.

Keep Reading... Show less
Kai Parlett

In the summer of 2017, 20 type 1 diabetics completed a 10-week 4,000+ mile bike ride from New York to California. They biked against the advice of doctors, family, and friends. Many were skeptical that people with diabetes could complete such a physically challenging trip without putting themselves in danger due to their disease.

Keep Reading... Show less

That's right, you heard that correctly: Demi Lovato and Max Ehrich called off their engagement after the couple originally announced their engagement in July after beginning to date in March.

Keep Reading... Show less

Demi Lovato's Called-Off Engagement Reminds Us Of The Importance Of Taking Our Time In Relationships

While this may be another hardship she sadly has to endure, I know she will find a way to inspire and help others through it.


I am heartbroken.

Keep Reading... Show less

We all love a good ol' sappy Christmas movie and this year, the Hallmark Channel is finally giving us what we want: diversity.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Seasonal Depression Is Real And It Deserves Our Attention

Check in on your friends throughout the winter season, it can be brutal.


As we transition seasons and enter the last few months of the year, some are feeling grand about this natural shift. But that doesn't mean everyone is thrilled that the weather is cooling down — it's important to extend your knowledge to the phenomenon that is seasonal depression.

The lack of sunlight during the later seasons of the year, beginning with autumn, triggers a state of depression for about 15% of the population. This results in the lack of serotonin provided by the sun, causing it to be hard for some to do a lot of the things that would normally be deemed simple tasks to do during the earlier times in the year like getting out of bed, showering, going to work/school, etc. A major difference is an intense need for sleep similar to a hibernation effect.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

September Is Suicide Awareness Month, But Mental H​ealth Is An Everyday Discussion

Mental illnesses deserve our attention 365 days a year.


September is Suicide Awareness Month, providing an opportunity to raise awareness, further educate yourself, and remember the reality that mental illnesses present. Yet it's critical to understand that suicide awareness is not an annual Instagram hashtag to use and forget. Actively advocating for mental health resources, progress in education, and a broken stigma is an everyday ask — an activity that we can each participate in.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments