“I wish I’d been braver”, “Why on earth did I wear that?”, “If I’d done this maybe things would’ve turned out differently”…it’s all too easy to think about how you could’ve changed something in the past. How if you’d just done this a bit differently or didn’t do this at all, your present and future self could be so much better off. Regrets are something that pass through everyone’s minds, but they’re not something that has to be permanent.
Looking back at things in your life that initially seemed like just another embarrassing moment, awful scenario, or plain dumb decision you made, you can start to see that they turned out to be stepping stones and lessons that ultimately helped your present and future self—although this may be difficult to perceive while in the moment. For example, the way I made friends with some (majority) of my best friends was because of a hard time or situation I was going through. If I hadn’t had those difficult moments, I would’ve never befriended some of the most important people in my life.
It’s ultimately impossible not to have some form of regret in our minds at some point, typically after said decision that caused the regret, but that’s when you can decide to move on and not dwell on how things could’ve gone differently. The situation, person, event happened and there is no way of going back to change it. You can either choose to look at how you can grow from this as a person or you can run it over in your mind until you feel sad, disappointed, or a bit stupid. While it’s not always easy to see the benefits initially, in hindsight down the road, you’ll probably find that there was a reason that this situation, person, or event happened in your life.
So, this isn’t telling you to go out and spend all your money or to go out and fight that person you’ve always dreamt of punching in the face. This is telling you to go through life doing what feels right to you and learning to accept when things don’t go your way. This is taking the time to reflect on your decisions and how they’ve affected you and the people in your life. This is realizing—and accepting—that you’re only human and you’re not going to make the perfect decision at every point in life. You’re going to make mistakes, fail, fall for the wrong person, and wish you’d done things another way…but you’re going to grow from all these “regrets” and accept the person you are—flawlessly messy and completely human.
“I love life. I wish I could live another 500 years, truly. There is so much to do. I don't feel bitter or angry or disappointed. If anything, I am very grateful for where I come from. I have absolutely no regrets.” ~ Waris Dirie
