We’ve all had at least one time where we’ve wanted that person. Whether you’re on the wanting side or the “undateable” side of this problem, this information may be of some value to you.

In my opinion, an undateable person is someone who doesn’t want a legitimate relationship, but still possesses the basic human quality of developing feelings for someone. Overall, this predicament can end up in one of three possible ways. These endings can occur chronologically or simultaneously. Wanting the undateable subject can end in: frustration, disappointment or contagion.

1. frustration [frəˈstrāSH(ə)n]. noun.

The feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something.

Say there’s two people at a smoothie shop. Customer One orders a strawberry smoothie, and Customer Two orders a banana smoothie. The smoothie shop employee brings out two strawberry smoothies. In the end, only Customer One is happy. Customer Two might take the strawberry smoothie reluctantly, but Customer Two will never be as happy as Customer One is about their smoothie. If you don’t get what you wanted in the first place, essentially, you won’t be happy in the long run.

Moral of the story: Make sure you find someone who wants the same smoothie as you. There will be less frustration.

2. disappointment [ˌdisəˈpointmənt]. noun.

The feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.

To elaborate, wanting the undateable person usually ends up in disappointment. If you get involved with an undateable person, this disappointment could be crushing for a little while. You, as the wanter, will start to assume that they want the same thing as you, and we all know what it means to assume… it makes an ass out of “u” and me. You’ll think things are going well and in your favor, and you’ll reason to yourself that the undateable wants the same things as you. Disappointment will occur when the truth of the predicament arises, and that inevitable truth is that the undateable does not want a relationship, which will leave you in disappointment.

3. contagion [kənˈtājən]. noun.

The communication of disease from one person to another by close contact.

By contagion, I mean that once you’ve experienced either disappointment or frustration because of wanting an undateable, you tend to guard yourself from the possibility of those problems. After guarding yourself for a while, someone new might come along, and you won’t want to risk being disappointed or frustrated again, and so it leaves you to turn into the undateable. "Contagion" is you becoming exactly the thing that hurt you in the first place.

To conclude, this is a vicious cycle of undateableness, and it can affect you and the way you approach relationships for a long time. For those wanters of undateables, I’d advise you to hesitate more before you tread into that territory, before you throw your cares into the wind. If you’re an undateable, I encourage you to be honest at all times, and to commit and love only when you’re truly ready.