When you hear the word addiction, what kind of descriptions come to your mind? Most of you probably think of a variety of these words: scum, jobless, homeless, dirty, stupid. Have you ever thought of words like these when you hear the word 'addiction': mother, father, cousin, lost, hopeless, confused?
Addiction is both a mental as well as physical disorder. When an addict uses, their body becomes dependent on that drug to function properly and the more they use, the higher doses they need to get the same effect. Their brain physically changes when using the drugs and when the brain does not have those chemicals, something feels off to the person. Every addict becomes addicted in a different way, but the bottom line is the same: they do not feel the same when they are not using.
I'm not saying that it is a good thing to be an addict, however, as society we give such a negative connotation to those who are addicts. You know the saying that goes 'don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes'? As a society, we need to be more open to trying to help and understand addicts. I'll admit, I used to be the kind of person that would say 'oh let them ruin their life if they really want to' or even 'they're not strong enough to stop using, they just make poor decisions'. Until the day I got the call that my cousin, very close in age to myself, had made the decision to put himself into rehab for a second time. I called him and I was furious, I yelled at him for about 20 minutes about how stupid he was to keep choosing to do this to himself, and he let me. Then we had a conversation that I will never forget. We discussed how not doing drugs made him feel. He said that without them he felt worthless, like he did not fit in anywhere, he wasn't happy, but he knew it was wrong. That is when it really hit me, he is not choosing to feel this way and I should be more open and supportive in him wanting to change his life for the better. I am a firm believer that you cannot help anyone who does not want to help themselves, however, that does not mean we should give up on someone all together. At the end of our conversion before we hung up, my cousin told me how he was happy that I yelled at him, because it showed him that I cared, that I loved and supported him. A few months later I lost my cousin to an accidental overdose.
Every day is a struggle for a recovering addict. Every day they choose to not take the easy way out for themselves. Every second of every day they consciously make the decision to not use. Imagine what kind of will power that takes, to know that something that would take away your pain is right within your reach but you actively choose not to reach out and grab it. We need to stop judging addicts and thinking of them as stupid, worthless people. We need to start accepting them when they accept that they want to change themselves, and be there to catch them when they slip up. Part of the reason that addicts put themselves down so much is because society makes them feel worthless. If someone thinks you are a crappy person, then what would make you want to change, especially if they are going to continue to see you as a crappy person no matter what you do?
If there comes a chance that you meet an addict, just listen to them, it can do wonders. Keep an open mind, try not to judge and remember that every addict is someone's somebody.
