Why You Can't Search For Happiness

Why You Can't Search For Happiness

It's Not A Scavenger Hunt...You Can't Find It
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My entire life I have always felt like I have depended on everyone for my happiness. People can always depend on me because I am always there for them and I care about everyone immensely, but I find that many times I'm not actually here for myself. How can I possibly find happiness then if I can't find it in myself? Here's why you can't search for happiness.

I'm in love with a quote that my developmental psychology told us in class. She said that it is wrong to find somebody that makes you happy because you need to "be somebody that makes you happy." I am a very firm believer in that, but I have an awful time buying into it. I have always depended on so many people for my happiness. I have relied on my parents, siblings, friends, social media, and even volunteering to bring me joy and they all do a wonderful job. I have always considered myself a very happy person and I still do to this day, but there have always been times where I asked myself if I am actually happy with myself. These times appear when I am all alone. To be honest, I had a girlfriend for almost all of high school and some of my first year of college so now being single is a huge challenge for me. I'm used to having someone there to back me up and take my side. I'm used to having that person to fall back on when days get tough or if I overthink. Now when things get tough I NEED, not have, but need to be the person to make myself happy again. I need to stop forcing my issues and problems on other people in my life. Why do I do that? I hate having problems in my life because my anxiety makes me have a million thoughts. By talking to other people about things, I feel like I don't have to worry about them as much. I'm learning to deal with my own problems and to stop being such an open book to everyone. I feel that by being an open book people can easily take advantage of you. They know what makes you laugh and cry, what makes you happy and sad, and because of that I feel like I can be harmed. I'm also learning that I can't keep searching for everything in my life. I can't search for my soul mate or for my happiness. Yes, people can make you a happier person, but you have to be able to make yourself happy too. You will force relationships all the time which never works. You can't force friendships, connections, and most importantly love. You will meet so many people in your lifetime, and most likely none of them will love you like you want them too. You CAN'T search for the person to love you. Let it come to you. I constantly try to force things because I love the idea of what could be. This is off topic, but I'm tired of constantly apologizing to people for being completely honest and speaking my mind. If they think I'm weird, I honestly don't care. I love people who are up front and will be honest about everything. I don't want you to lie to me about things or not be honest. So yeah, you should go up to that boy or girl and tell her you think they are cute. Honestly, who cares if they think it's weird. They will be happy that someone actually noticed them. It'll probably make their day. So at the end of the day when you lay down in your bed all alone, you need to be absolutely okay that their isn't someone right next to you. You need to be okay that there isn't someone to whisper in your ear that they love you, tickle you to death, or go on crazy adventures with you. That will happen in due time. God has a plan for all. Trust the process. Always better yourself. By the way, if no has told you this today, you are kicking life in the rear end. You are much tougher than you look. You are passing classes. You are loved. You do have tons of friends. You are doing great things for the community. Your entire family is proud of you. You are making an impact. Your existence does matter. People depend on you. You make people laugh and smile. You are smart and you are beautiful and unique in your own way. Tell yourself those things everyday because you need to believe them. I'm trying to work on them too. We're all in this together (High School Musical pun not intended).

"Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved"- Pooh


Cover Image Credit: Google

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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Sorry Guys, Girls Actually Want Attention From Other Girls

Who else knows fashion, beauty, style, or looks better than other females themselves?

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Men are ya know, "great." We love 'em (somedays). Some girls cry over men, run their lives around men, and make life choices because of men.

But, why should we try to impress men? Men don't understand the time it takes to "beat our face" with makeup. Men don't understand the soreness our arms experienced to get these perfect curls. Some men don't understand how excited we are to score big in the Urban Outfitters clearance section.

Some ladies live by "beauty is pain." But sorry guys, they are not here to impress you.

Why would some ladies spend all the time, effort, and money for men, when some men can't distinguish mascara from lipgloss.

Women are trying to impress other women.

You ever get a compliment from a fellow female and they're like, "Girl, yes girl. The outfit, the hair, YES." Ladies understand and appreciate our efforts.

Do you think what ladies post on social media is to get men pouring in their DMs? No.

We are sharing pictures to inspire and create a group of women to be creative and stylish themselves. Us ladies are trying to build an empire of strong women, and we will not spend time just to look good for men.

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