Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by winter.
Every year, Mother Nature plays a horrible, evil joke on us to punish us for all our weather complaints. She gives us winter. These never-ending three months of complete doom really kill my vibe. Growing up in North Jersey, I am no stranger to the snow. Attending Penn State has caused my hatred for the snow only to expand. Here are some reasons why winter is just completely inhumane and evil:
1. Snow ruins ALL plans. If you had plans, and they involved using a car, you can just cancel them right now and crawl into bed with some Netflix, because you're not going anywhere. Snow makes roads impossible to drive safely on, and I officially have anxiety from getting stuck in the snow (still mad at myself for not buying a car with four-wheel drive). If you planned on going out and it's snowing, you'd better call a cab or, once again, just crawl back into bed, because chances are, your heels are not trekking to Fratland in blizzard conditions. Big shout out to all the girls that make the slippery journey in the snow.
2. Class is NEVER cancelled. Oh it snowed 12 inches last night? Better lace up your snow boots and get your butt out of bed for class, because Penn State does not cancel class. Ever. You know better than to get your hopes up for cancelled class, because you know the disappointment of waking up with no "classes are cancelled" emails. When getting to class, it's wise to completely avoid the buses, because they are crowded, wet and not even worth it. Worst comes to worst, you may choose to make your own personal snow day and not go to class at all. Stay in school, kids.
3. How does one look cute in -10 degree weather? You're walking down the street in your ankle-length parka, fur boots, beanie hat and massive infinity scarf that makes it questionable whether you have a face. You see a cute guy, and there's literally nothing you can do to make yourself look even a little bit cute. You're probably comforting yourself in your thoughts: "I swear I am a decently looking human under all this marshmallow. Damn it." Winter is ruining your life.
4. Winter is expensive. For Christmas, Santa may have delivered a new parka, gloves, hat, wool socks and Bean Boots. That probably all added up to at least $300. That's $300 that winter just cost you that you could have spent on other fun things, like that cute dress from that boutique you've wanted or half your spring break vacation expenses. Winter is a fun-sucker.
5. You LITERALLY can't wait for summer. As Thursday rolls around, you really want to post a #TBT picture. You scroll through all your summer pictures and immediately get depressed. You're thinking, picture by picture, "I was so tan. I miss sneaking beer on the beach. I was with all my best friends from high school. I miss them. I had no worries or responsibilities. I miss forgetting what day it was." You promise yourself that you'll never complain about how hot it is when summer rolls around, because you're just THAT desperate.
Winter is just evil. With the terrible season of winter comes a lot of complaining, but I guess it's a small price to pay for going to the best school ever.
