The Friend Zone.
All guys fear it. All girls hate it. And our whole culture uses it as a way to categorize any opposite-sex friendship that doesn't involve sex.
And, it's complete nonsense.
The "Friend Zone" is not a new concept. Since women became more independent and began racking in their own income, they have stopped marrying for security (well, mostly) and started marrying for love. Women and men have more choice now than ever before on who they want to marry and when -- if they even want to marry at all.
And it's not just marriage. Casual dating is far more common than it has ever been, and people like to explore options our past generations would keel over just thinking about. It is not unusual to date half a dozen people by the time you're 22, and it's even less unusual to wait until you're 30 to set a date and tie the knot.
But with these strides toward independence and the ability to marry whomever you want, we have created this hook-up culture that believes just about anyone is "up for whatever." And in the process, we've completely shamed platonic relationships between guys and girls, something that should be totally normal.
Why? Because of this ridiculous notion of getting stuck in the "Friend Zone."
So, we have a guy and girl who are friends. The guy starts having feelings for the girl. He starts doing extremely nice things for her all the time. Despite all his efforts, the girl does not develop feelings back. (I use this scenario because it's not only the most common, but one I've dealt with firsthand).
And this is where we get things all mixed up. Instead of accepting the fact that this girl wants nothing more from him than casual friendship and an occasional fro-yo date, he gets frustrated. He claims "nice guys" never make it out of the "Friend Zone" and that all girls are hypocritical idiots who take the "nice guys" they have for granted.
Newsflash: she has no obligation to like you just because you're "nice."
When did we develop this thought process that acting like a decent human being meant somebody owed you something? She's a person, too. And just as the guy can't help his feelings toward her, she can't help the fact that they're not reciprocated.
The "Friend Zone" is a sad excuse to blame girls for not succumbing to their male friends advances and pursuing a relationship with them.
But why should we? If we don't like you, we don't like you. There's no way around that.
I don't mean to sound like a complete jerk, but it's the truth. You can't force someone to like you, and you can't be mad when they don't. So stop expecting others to love you just because you're nice. If you were really that nice, you wouldn't hate her for not liking you back.
Maybe the best way to get out of the "Friend Zone" is to stop pretending like there is one.
