I refuse to play hard to get. Ever since middle school, the idea that making someone work harder makes you more desirable has been shoved down my throat. Even now, seven years later, I still get the same string of advice from people.

“Do NOT ask him to hang out first; he’ll think you’re clingy.”

“You should wait a while to text him back; you don’t want to seem desperate.”

“When he asks a question, you should dodge answering it fully; men like mystery.”

When did getting to know someone new come with a secret code of rules you have to follow? You can’t do this, or that, and absolutely don’t let him know you’re interested, because then he’ll walk away. I’m sorry, but all of that is a load of sh*t. I refuse to overanalyze and calculate my every move when I’m getting to know someone. It’s pathetic that some people would view me as “clingy” when I answer a text in a timely manor because I had my phone on me. Also, since when did it become taboo to ask a boy you’re interested in to hangout? We do it all the time with our friends, why should we act any differently around our crush?

Playing hard to get is a waste of time. I don’t understand the problem with being upfront with people. If you ask me a question, I’ll answer it. If I get asked on a date, I’ll go. If I had a nice time and I’m interested in hanging out again, I’ll tell you. To me, that just seems like the simple most logically way to go about casual dating. Isn’t the whole point to get to know someone better, not put up fake walls and make them jump through hoops? I’m no Dr. Phil, but it seems that mind games are a waste of time, and don’t work anyways. I don’t think it’s “mysterious” or “sexy” when someone doesn't answer my texts, or avoids making plans with me. It doesn’t make me want to pursue them; it lets me know that they aren't interested so I’ll leave them alone. In fact, ironically enough, isn't it clingier to go after someone who doesn't show signs of interest? It seems pretty desperate to keep trying to contact someone who obviously does not want to put in the effort to get to know you. My time is precious, and so is theirs, so I refuse to go to extraordinary lengths to keep talking to someone and I would expect them to do the same.

I am a busy college student and have enough on my plate already, the LAST thing I am going to do is waste my time worrying about how many minutes I should wait to answer a text, or if I should say I have other plans if asked out that night. I refuse to calculate my every move, and besides – shouldn’t dating be fun? If I am getting to know someone then I am going to be myself. You can’t build any type of relationship, including friendship, on a thread of lies and veil of mystery.

So you really want that boy to like you? Then being yourself is your best bet. If it doesn’t work out then at least you know it would not have been a good match from the start. So cut the games and stop walking on eggshells in order to “impress” people. Be unabashedly yourself, and who knows, you might just find your Prince Charming.