I am a third-year student at UC and I am finally learning how to embrace and love myself.
Self-love is the best love because loving yourself is the most powerful tool that you could ever have.
From as early as I can remember, young girls are often exposed to media including magazines, television shows, and advertisements. Even playing with a Barbie doll stirs the thoughts of "I wish I was her" or "I wish my body looked like hers." From the time we start preschool and kindergarten, girls are often told when a boy is picking on them that "they like them" and that "boys will be boys."
That subject is a different can of worms, but there's a similar message. Remember all of the mixers we attended throughout middle school? I remember my outfits used to get picked apart because I happened to be tomboy and I had different interests in TV shows and music. I struggled fitting in during middle school and about half of my high school years. I ended up doing well in my upperclassmen years due to the support system and involvement I had. However, life and college changed how I thought of myself.
During my freshmen and sophomore years, I always felt insecure of how I looked because the girls would spend time on their make-up and partying, both of which I had no interest in. I wish someone would have told me early on that it is okay to be different.
I spent my second year getting more involved on campus and I slowly gained confidence. I picked up my first two jobs. Professionally, I was doing pretty well. Personally, there was still that internal struggle of insecurities.
Going into my third year, a lot of changes have happened in my life, but I had a moment of clarity one Sunday night while I was out trying to find somewhere around campus to eat and I accidentally took myself out to dinner. It was not to the dining hall, but I accidentally took myself to dinner at Cilantro. For those who do not know, Cilantro is a vietnamese bistro near campus. I ended up sitting inside instead of taking it to go, but that was because the waitress told me to sit somewhere. I enjoyed my noodle bowl and multiple glasses of water, and it clicked.
Why wait for someone to take you out to dinner when you can do it yourself? Why did you listen to everyone when you should have been listening to what you want?
So here I am plucking away at this keyboard after having the guts to wear a dress to class today on my day off. I kept having the conflict of "oh you have no one to wear this for" so then I kept switching until I said "screw it. you are wearing this for yourself."
My point of sharing my story is to help open the conversation of empowering each other. This includes boys. There are so many standards for guys to look ripped and with a six-pack and that irks me quite a bit too. I wanted to start an open dialogue. We need to start lifting each other up more especially in a college environment. We don't know everyone's story.
If it took me 20 years to learn to love myself, then it should take others less than that. We need to make sure to tell especially preteens and teenagers that it is okay to love yourself and be confident. There is only one you in the world so be the best one you can be. Go wear that dress, go workout just because you want to improve your health, go flirt with someone cute at a party. Do what you want to do. Do what makes you happy.
We only have one life. Make the most out of it. Love yourself because you are the only you. Let's go out and embrace ourselves instead of waiting around for someone else to do it.
