Loving yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something other than yourself is the greatest accomplishment anyone could ever achieve. Society is always trying to change us into something that we are not born to be. As we get older and older it only becomes harder and harder to break free of the strong grasp of society. Let's face it, there are always going to be certain people in this world, that do not want you to succeed. These people will do anything to try and tear you down. That is why it is important that love ourselves. We need to be free-spirited. Being free-spirited means having the courage to not only follow your dreams but also take the time to figure out what they really are – which is arguably much more difficult. So how do we begin to love ourselves when the rest of the world is trying to change us?
1. When we speak of love, we think of others and what they mean to us; we think of those we love.
Love, when given to ourselves has the ultimate power to erase doubt, self-loathing, discrimination, and hurt. It erases the negativity we see in ourselves and it alleviates that feeling we get of wishing that we were someone else. It is for when we love ourselves unconditionally that we are complete; we no longer need others to fill this void. That is why we try so hard to find stable relationships. Not only do we want the companionship, but we are trying to erase the feeling of not being able to love ourselves. The more you begin to love yourself the less you'll look to others to validate or complete you. Love is a great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
2. Insecurity stems from a lack of belief in oneself, but also a lack of love for ourselves.
The ways we see ourselves as having a lack of worth or putting ourselves down stems from not loving ourselves. The words "I love you" are three words we use all the time, but not enough. We do not think about saying the words "I love you" to ourselves, but how often do we tell ourselves "if only I looked like her, if only I could do that if only I could change this, then I will love myself." How often have we actually said to ourselves, "I love myself for exactly the way I am?" Those three words are so overlooked in today's society, but yet those words have such an incredible healing effect on us all. We all desire to be loved and we all deserve to love. It gives a sense of relief, that "okay, I am good enough exactly the way I am." If we do this we can eliminate the insecurities, self-judgment, and discrimination we see in ourselves. The relief and elimination of the tension directed at ourselves to be more, do more, and achieve more can now begin to happen. Self-confidence is a super power. Once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts happening. I believe we are all guilty of this in some shape or form.
3. Because we do all these things for ourselves, if the desire stems from a place of self-acceptance, then it will feel good to us.
When we say to ourselves that we are loved, it gives us a sense of peace. No longer do we have to find it in such a hurry somewhere else because we are able to feel the love and acceptance right now. We don't have to be in search for a relationship in all the wrong places with all the wrong people to satisfy this need. When we love ourselves in the moment we are enabling ourselves to be okay with what we are right now, without needing someone else to fill that void. The best kinds of relationships are the ones that find you when you least expect them to. You deserve beautiful, authentic, and genuine love. Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.
4. When you love who you are, you accept who you are.
This is by far the one thing I struggle with most as being a woman. I know that I am so incredibly and deeply loved by the one true King, by my family, by my friends, by my sisters, and so many others. So if I know this why am I trying so hard to change the way I am? I am always trying to be better, to do better, and to make others proud. However, we are all humans and we all make mistakes. Some make more mistakes than others and some people you think must never make mistakes. I'm here to tell you that I have made endless amounts of mistakes. Some of which I truly wish I could just go back and fix. Some of which are still incredibly hard on my heart to this day. But I am also here to tell you that it is OK to make mistakes. It is OK to fall and it is OK to hurt. However, it is NOT OK to dwell on the mistakes of your past. It is NOT OK to hate yourself for the mistakes that you have failed to forgive yourself for. It is NOT OK for others to tell you that you cannot change. It gets extremely tiring and that is no way for anyone to ever live their life. You will begin to heal when you let go of past hurts, forgive those who have wronged you and learn to forgive yourself for your past mistakes. After awhile it must come to an end. We must learn to love ourselves regardless of the mistakes we have once made. We must learn to accept ourselves for the way we are and find peace in learning to love ourselves again.
5. Love given to oneself is a true gift that we should not overlook.
When were young, we knew this and we did not think otherwise. It was as we got older that we either stopped seeing ourselves the way we did back then. Whether we were talked out of it or simply realized for whatever reason that we weren't good enough, we then stopped loving ourselves. Maybe it was someone in our past who told us we are not good enough, maybe it was in a relationship that was abusive that led us to believe we are worth nothing, maybe it was through social media or the society. I'm here to tell you that you ARE worth more than you could EVER possibly begin to imagine. It is time we stop this negativity and be strong in the realization that we matter, that we can love who we are. Before we go and seek for love and acceptance from someone else in all the wrong places, tell yourself DAILY that you love who you are, what you are, and where you are. It is time to let go of the negativity we so often direct at ourselves and replace it with love. Over time, the negativity will be outweighed by the positivity you tell yourself daily. By simply replacing the negative thoughts directed at yourself with thoughts of love and positivity, you are empowering and healing who you are. When we begin to love ourselves, all things fall into place, life becomes easier and love from others is easier to receive and find. Love is key to letting go and being okay, to feeling that sense of stability it gives you in return.
6. When you love yourself, the world around you changes.
When we fall in love everything around us becomes more beautiful and appealing. Falling in love with yourself is no exception. It allows you to look at things, people and life from another perspective. The most important thing to remember is that all these changes are about your perception only. The very second you decide to stop criticizing yourself is the very second you begin to start living. I think when you love yourself and I mean truly love yourself, you begin to look at life and situations around you differently. I think this is because you finally realize how important you are, not so much to others but simply yourself. When you begin to love yourself, you begin to feel worthy. Know your self-worth. Love yourself. In all that you do. Only you can choose whether or not you love yourself and this world. So forget what society is telling you about yourself and listen to what He is telling you. It does not matter what others are telling you, what matters is what HE is telling you. He made you and you are so beautiful.
Song of Solomon 4:7 "You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you."
Proverbs 19:8 "To acquire wisdom is to love oneself; people who cherish understanding will prosper."
"Those who love others grandly are those who themselves grandly. Those who have a high acceptance of others are those who have a high toleration and acceptance of themselves. You cannot show a part of you that you cannot show yourself. Therefore, begin where all growth, where all evolution, where all love must begin; with the person in the mirror."
"If you talked to yourself the way you talked to yourself and to your body, you would have no friends left."
