If you want to get a closer look at the effects of relying too desperately on the American Dream, pick up a copy of Miller's Death of a Salesman and take it from the Lomans. Better yet, if you want to discover an even more painful truth, read Ta-Nehisi Coates's Between the World and Me cover to cover.
The glory of the American Dream is overly romanticized. It's racist in that it's always reflective of whiteness, and it's unattainable in that it's highly idealistic and often leaves people feeling inadequate and helpless. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of self-sufficiency, of going from nothing to something through hard work, of being an independent spirit. But, what I don't love is the idea that seeking help is a sign of weakness and that everyone should be expected to achieve success in the same amount of time, further that everyone should define success by the same set of guidelines.
There's more respect for status than there is for mental health. Some people can conquer their demons on their own, and that's totally fine, but others need help. They need a change of pace, an intervention, someone to step in and show them what they can't see by themselves. Slowing down and seeking help, especially professional help, when it comes to mental health is nothing to be ashamed of, and we should definitely be encouraging it a lot more. We need to be taking each other's mental health much more seriously.
In my opinion, I think a lot of us are raised to believe that we should be strong enough to fight all of our own battles and that we can do anything if we set our minds to it. These are nice cliches, but I think that they can be dangerous if they're instilled the wrong way. Seeking help does not equate to weakness, rather it's a sign of strong self-awareness. Further, slowing down, changing course, admitting to needing help with mental health, these things do not equate to failure, rather they are the means to redefining how someone will be able to feel successful.
I want to work hard, and I want to be self-sufficient. I want to build myself a future with my own hands and my own head and my own heart. Having said that, I know that I carry a lot of emotional weight on my shoulders, and for the longest time I didn't realize just how much I had suppressed it. I didn't want to get help because I thought that I should be able to figure it out on my own and if I didn't then I wasn't smart enough, or strong enough, etc. Screw that mentality. Getting help was one of the best decisions I've ever made, and I made it for myself, so I'd say that's pretty strong.
Whatever it is that you struggle with, don't feel like you need the validation of others. People are going to mock you and patronize you for whatever it is that they refuse to understand. You know what you carry around with you every day, and you have the power to face it (or not face it) however you choose. Whether you seek professional counseling, pharmaceutical therapy, etc. you are STRONG and you are VALID and you are not a failure by any means. Don't let toxic ideology convince you that you're worth anything less than beautifully human.
