I have come to a point in my life where I constantly ask the question, "Why?" Why do I continue to struggle through classes? Why do I put unprecedented amounts of stress on myself? Why do I love with every fiber of my being when those I love don't always feel the same? Why, why, why. It is something that is constantly on my mind.
I have been through a lot in my short life. I have had problems with one of my brothers; I have struggled with the feelings I harbor for myself. I haven't even hit twenty for crying out loud. I have so many ambitions, wishes, and goals, but I have never wanted to give up so badly. Never has the urge to throw in the towel and just accept what has been dealt to me, been so strong. To just say, "Why do I push on? I try so hard to accomplish my goals, but it always backfires. I struggle with classes; relationships; my own thoughts. Why do I continue to push through?"
I am sure many people ask this of themselves, and they do give up. I know some people, other than myself, that think these exact same thoughts. They feel like they have lost; that they have nothing left to live for. It is definitely not great to be in this place in life, but if there is one thing I have learned, it is that there are things to push on for. Those being: love, happiness, and peace, among other things.
It may not seem like it now, and it is extremely hard to believe this, but some day, it will get better. I push on because I have to believe that someday I will achieve my goals and be happy. I push on because I hope that it may encourage those I care about who also struggle with life to push on with me. I push on because I hope that someday I will find love and I know that it will be worth it. All of the pain and suffering; the struggle to continue. All of it. To finally find the pure elation that I have been pushing on for. To finally find be truly happy. To me, that is worth it. All I can hope is that it will be worth it for you too.
I will leave with a quote from my favorite band, The Dear Hunter. "The silver lining still remains."
Thanks for reading,
Zach
