I sit here smiling to myself as I sip my hot cocoa looking out the cabin window at the glorious view of the snow covered Rocky Mountains. I can't think of a better way to be spending Christmas break than at a ski resort in Colorado!
Although I'm surrounded by my family and am keeping in touch with my college bestie, I can't help but feel a pang of worry as I think about the future. As I packed up for Christmas break, most of my college friends explained that they were either not returning next semester or not retuning next year. I was heartbroken to hear the news, but what could I do? I soon learned that at my college, many people did leave after a semester or two. They don't find their fit, they complain it's too small, too expensive, or simply "too lame." My dreams of spending four years with the same people and making life long friends were crushed.
Growing up I was a homeschooled air force kid who moved every few years. I was an expert in saying goodbye and moving on. Those long distance relationships never worked out. That's why I was so excited to go to college! My whole life I've looked forward to being at the same school with the same people for four years. It was almost too good to be true!
When I arrived at CUC I learned that it was indeed too good to be true. The tradition continued. I met people, I grew to like, love and adore them. We spent hours and days together and talked about our dreams. Then it all ended when they told me they were transferring to different schools.
"Don't worry. We'll keep in touch. You can come visit me," they said. I smiled sadly and nodded. I had heard this speech a million times before. We'd keep in touch for a week or so but that was it. It never lasted.
I just couldn't believe my lot in life. Why was it that everybody always leaves me or I always leave them? Is this what I was destined for? To be forever alone? As I sit here enjoying my Christmas break in the Rocky Mountains, I contemplate if I too should transfer schools. There's nothing that's keeping me tied to my current school. Currently I'm researching school. Michigan State looks fun...
I know God has a plan for me and that this heartbreaking life style I lead is preparing me for the job God has before me. Perhaps one day it will all make sense why everybody always left me. Maybe one day I'll see why I had to live forever alone.
