I always partook in Relay when I was younger. I never had a reason why I walked at relay; I just joined to partake in the great cause. One year it all changed.
It was spring which meant I was starting to hear back from colleges. I was supposed to be enjoying my last year of high school with my friends and figuring out what college is best for me. My dad had just come back from traveling to London for business and wasn’t feeling well. We all thought he was just jet lagged or ate something bad over in England, we never imagined anything worse. About a week later my dad’s sickness hadn’t improved, my mom realized something else had to be wrong. He had gone to the doctors just to see if it was just a horrible cold or if it was something else. He underwent tests that showed he had very small amount of white blood cells in his blood. This made the doctors worried so they sent him to the ER to get more tests done just to be safe.
It was the final weekend of my high school's spring musical in which I was a part of the pit orchestra. I wanted my dad to be in the audience to see my last performance, but he was unable to make it and all I could think about was if he was OK. Finally, Monday rolled around and they got the test results back from the doctor. The doctor said his test showed he tested positive for Leukemia. The next day he underwent his first round of chemotherapy at Danbury Hospital. The cancer wasn’t very strong then but as the battle progressed, the cancer got worse.
While my dad was in the hospital my mom was going back and forth between being with us at home and being with my dad. My 18th birthday rolled around and all I wanted was my dad out of the hospital. That was my only wish and only gift I could ask for. Unfortunately, this wish didn’t come true and instead he facetimed me from the hospital to still be part of the celebration. I wasn’t in the mood for celebrating such a big milestone because my dad was fighting for his life in a hospital bed. This round of chemotherapy lasted until June where he officially became in remission for the first time. My dad was able to be home to attend my graduation from the audience and enjoy what we didn’t know would be his last Fourth of July.
My dad had gone back in for a checkup shortly after and they realized the cancer was back stronger than before. Danbury Hospital wasn’t able to continue helping him because they didn’t have services strong enough for him. That’s when he and my mom moved down to NYC for him to get treatment at Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. At Sloan Kettering, he was officially diagnosed with AML which is a form of Leukemia. AML starts in the bone marrow but quickly moves into the blood. It can sometimes spread to other parts of the body if not treated quickly and properly.
Finally, it was Thanksgiving break and I could go home and see my dad. Since he was still getting treatments he wasn’t able to come home. We didn’t want to leave him alone on Thanksgiving so my grandma, my brother, and I hoped on the train and head down to see him and my mom. For a hospital, the turkey wasn’t too bad. They had a nice Thanksgiving dinner for the staff, patients, and family members.
My dad also had to spend Christmas and New Year’s Eve in his hospital bed in NYC. If you ever knew my dad, you would have known Christmas was his favorite holiday because deep inside him was his inner child coming out for one month out of the year. He would always get my brother and I wrapped into decorating our house from the outside to the inside, except for that year. While we still decorated the inside, the outside just wasn’t the same. Christmas Day we facetimed my dad so he could watch us open our presents then loaded up the car with all his presents and headed down to see him. He and my mom spent New Year’s together in Hope Lodge where my dad was waiting for a bone marrow transplant while my brother and I spent New Year’s with my grandma at home.
While I was able to get away for a few months to escape the pain at college, my brother was home unable to escape attending high school. Both my grandmas spent most of their time living at my house with my brother to make sure he was OK and getting to school on time. If it wasn’t for them, I don’t know how the house would have still been standing.
We were first told that my dad would just need bone marrow transplants every now and then to keep the cancer away. Later, we learned that the cancer got stronger and chemo wasn’t working. My dad turned to a test trial to see if that would work and it turns out that wasn’t working either.
I was a freshman at Merrimack preparing to go take my first midterm of spring semester when my mom called me. At first, I thought her and my dad were calling me to wish me luck on my midterm, but when I answered my mom could barely speak. I knew right then and there something was wrong, my heart started racing and I just kept thinking to myself "it can’t be it can’t be." My mom told me she called the school already and told them I was coming home and I wasn’t to go take my midterm, a family friend was already on her way to pick me up and I should start packing. At this point, I didn’t know if I was ever coming back to finish out my spring semester at Merrimack.
I arrived home and the next day went down to see my dad. My dad was in his hospital bed and there were three chairs at foot of his bed for me, my grandma, and my brother to sit in. By my dad's bedside was a chair for my mom. The doctor came in and told us we were out of options and nothing was helping my dad get better. I couldn’t believe what he was saying because I just kept thinking my dad was strong and he wouldn’t give up. There had to be something.
The doctor left the room and immediately my brother and I broke down on to my grandma who was also crying. I looked at my dad who had the look of defeat on his face. I have never seen him so upset about such an uncontrollable situation. I could see the pain in his eyes and the determination to fight this disease. Later that week my dad left the hospital and came home. Hospice had set up a hospital bed for him so that way he was surrounded by family and friends at all times.
On March 16th, 2013 my dad passed away surrounded by family. I know that him leaving was the best thing because he wasn’t suffering anymore. He was with his own dad at peace now. My dad didn’t make it to see my brother graduate high school. He didn’t get to move me into my dorm or see Merrimack. He didn’t get to see how strong my brother turned out to be in this situation. He didn’t get to move my brother into his alma mater. He won’t get to walk me down the aisle on my big day and he won’t get to see his two children who he loved dearly graduate college and watch us find our own paths in life.
My dad was the life of every party as most would say. He lit up any room he was in with his big and bubbly personality. He was basically a big kid himself, and always tried to “hang” with the neighborhood college kids at the time. My mom was his biggest fan and I know he was hers. They meet at Northeastern University and eventually started dating more when the both started working together at IBM. My dad was a huge Yankees fan and always attended every game he could even if it was on a work day. He taught me valuable life lessons that will stick with me for the rest of my life. I got to hear so many stories about my dad from family, friends, and coworkers that I never knew about my dad. He was a great strong man that never stopped fighting and I know if it wasn’t for my mom and my brother and I, he would have stopped fighting a long time ago.
This March marked the three-year anniversary of his passing. Each year that passes will be difficult but I know I have a strong support system here at home and back at Merrimack. If it wasn’t for my friends, the Boys and Girls Club in Ridgefield, CT, my teammates, the friends I’ve made at Merrimack and most importantly my family, I don’t know if I would have ever gone back to school. I returned to Merrimack four weeks later to finish my freshman year because I know my dad would have wanted me to.
Relay For Life has become a way for me to get through the rough days when I know I can’t call my dad up to complain about my day or be able to give him a hug every time I come home from break. Being able to see that the money raised with these events truly does make an impact in the lives of cancer patients is amazing. As I end this article I’m going to leave you with a moto my dad lived by, “Life is like a movie, it goes by fast. Make sure yours is worth watching!”
