Being a young, college-aged woman, I’ve come to find myself in a sea … of guys. They come in all colors, all shapes and all sizes, but I still can’t manage to distinguish who is going to keep my heart from drowning in this water. I haven’t done it all, but I feel that I’ve seen enough to know that I don’t want to keep afloat anymore and my heart may be kept safe elsewhere. So where do I turn for dry land? I turned to the one person who has been my rock and I found an island on which to grow.
Dramatics aside, after a long two years in and out of relationships with several guys, I found nothing to be working for me. With each relationship, I tried to find someone different from the person before, hoping that this would work out. It didn’t. I’m glad they didn’t, though. I’ve stopped trying to “find someone.” I looked at who I already had: my best friends, my siblings, my mom and ... my dad.
My dad always made sure to cover the basics; he taught me how to swim, ride a bike, drive and balance a check-book. He also gave me plenty of guidance when it came to getting my first job, as well as my college education. I don't think I would've ever made it without the values he instilled in me about independence. He always made it clear that I should never depend on someone else, whether that be him or some other guy in the future. It was my responsibility to take care of my needs first and foremost. He taught me to follow my dreams as long as I did what I needed to do to get there. My father never wanted to see me miss out on all the opportunities life has to offer, so he pushed me to reach for them.
Besides teaching me how to "adult" and approach life, my dad, almost unknowingly, taught me about love. My dad and I didn’t always have a good relationship. Sometimes I wouldn’t reach out to him or he wouldn’t keep in touch with me, but when we saw or spoke to each other, it's like time had never passed. My dad always understood when I would spend my time with my mom or friends rather than him. He continued to care about being in my life and me being in his, even though circumstances didn't allow that to remain constant. My father always loved me. It's this unconditional love you get from a parent that teaches you what to expect out of a partner. I wish I had remembered those expectations should be before all the heartaches that come with dating and growing up, but my head eventually caught up.
Lately, I’ve been reaching out frequently to my dad, and he’s kept in touch with me. We talk multiple times a week, and I see him more often now than I did sometimes as a kid. Even today, no date can measure up to the in-depth conversations he and I have about politics or the movie marathons we watch or kayaking down the Willow River. This relationship I have with my dad is invaluable and nobody else needs to ever measure up. We are the extensions of our parents, whether they’re biological or not, and they have taught us measures beyond what we could ever learn on our own. On my own, I've learned that the guys I fell for sucked. But through my father, I learned things more valuable than what some guy could’ve taught me.
