“If you like the way you look that much, oh baby, you should go and love yourself.”
We’ve heard Justin Bieber song hundreds of times on the radio, and I must admit--it’s one of my favorite jams. But what does it really mean to love yourself? Is this concept egotistical and self-centered?
I believe it is just the opposite.
Because life offers its own ups and downs, it can be easy for our attitudes to change. Our perception of the world. It can be easy, especially when things go wrong, to put the blame on ourselves, to think we deserved whatever we received. Even things totally out of control--and I am so guilty of this. For the majority of my life I looked at whatever was "wrong" with me with a magnifying glass, ready to point the finger at myself.
The reality is, though, things go wrong. That is just one fact of the mystery we call life. Life can be cruel and unfair and sometimes there’s nothing we can do about it.
But one thing we shouldn’t do is put ourselves down, especially when we are already hurting. Instead we should look at the situation positively, no matter how negative it seems, and realize that something good will come out of it. It might take months or even years to figure what that exactly is, but we will learn eventually. I believe, in this time, it is important to relax, to allow life to work itself out.
I also believe loving yourself is crucial when developing relationships--and not just romantic ones. How can we expect people to like us when we don’t even like ourselves? The energy we feel within radiates and attracts the people who will enter our lives.
Have you ever met those people who cannot be happy without being in a relationship? Or those who look for things outside themselves to feel complete? For example, those who abuse substances or distract themselves completely with work and/or money. But what exactly are they distracting themselves from, you may ask?
Themselves. They are distracting themselves from themselves.
That might be confusing, but it’s the truth. Without self-love, there is self-loathing, which is painful. People then turn towards other things to make them feel complete, when really, they need to feel complete without anyone or anything else. You are complete and worthy without someone telling you so. Yes, it’s nice to be complimented. Yes, it’s nice to be reminded of how special you are. But shouldn’t you know these things already? Why is someone else’s opinion so much more important than your own?
The point of this article is to inspire you, my fellow reader, to focus on yourself first. What are your strong points? What makes you get up in the morning, ready to start your day? Something that will never change. What is your passion, your drive, your niche? Once you figure out who you are, it will become less important to find someone who tells you these things.
Stop looking elsewhere. The answer lies within.
