Last year (2016) was the toughest for me emotionally. When I reflected on it, I realized why: my own actions. I could’ve prevented everything that caused it. Now only 5 months into 2017, I’m the exact opposite of how I was last year. The difference is ridiculously big. 2016, I lost sleep over how bad my decisions were and resulted in tears and worry. 2017, I’m losing sleep over how great things are going for me because I just want to talk about it and celebrate my successes. For everyone reading this, I’m not trying to kick you while you’re down or make you small to make me big. This is simply advice on how to do it for yourself, it may or may not work. Sure some things are out of your control to be happy all the time like I am. But you can definitely try some of the things I did because they’re in your control for the most part.

I realized my priorities for a better future. If I kept doing what I was doing, I wouldn’t have such a bright future. I would flunk out of school, and I don’t have another plan for what I would do to make a living all on my own. I hate the feeling of being financially dependent at 20 years old when I know so many of my peers are financially independent. However, this is my motivation to do good in school so that I will be financially independent as soon as I can. It will be a matter of time before I’m independent like the adult I’m aged to be. School/career is the number one priority and I finally put it above everything else. I’m doing better in school, got an internship and don’t have to dread going home. I dreaded going home because I didn’t wanna talk about my bad grades and struggling to find a job, but I was excited to go home the last time I did.

I don’t allow negative people to stay. Last year, I let go of two people who were close to me. It was hard, but it was about time because they constantly put me down and made me feel bad about myself. I might’ve deserved it sometimes, but they also put me down when I was feeling good. When I wrote a list of things going good for me this year, I realized that those were things I would’ve been put down for. I don’t deserve that, I worked hard for it. I should be celebrating, and they would accuse me of bragging and throwing it their face because something was going wrong for them. That isn’t fair, nor do I need those people when I have all the other right people. This year, if anyone puts me down like that, they don’t get to utter another word to me. I’m proud of making myself happy and they’re going to destroy it. I only kept them because I thought they were my friends, but no. I have real friends who don’t do what they did, and do more good for me than they ever could.

I have all the right people around. Not to say you’re going to like everyone you have around or that’s always up to you. Sometimes you’ll have to deal with people you don’t like and sometimes you’re even forced to give them a place in your life. That’s never a great situation, but you can balance it by having the right kind of people around the rest of the time. Find people who understand your struggles, can at least listen and even possibly relate to them. Ones who will celebrate with you when you need it and keep your head high. Above all, keep the people who you can be yourself with. They’re the right people if they can accept you this way. They’re the ones to most likely to bring the positivity you need. Anyone who can’t is likely to bring negativity you don’t need. Also if they can’t be happy for you even when they’re not happy for themselves, and possibly accuse of you bragging or throwing it in their face. Those were the people I let go of and saw an amazing result- nothing brings me down. Do acknowledge the fact that they’re not doing as well as you and be there for them as they need it, because they’re the best kind of people. (When they can be happy for you even when they’re not happy for themselves.)

I take care of myself physically. I realize this isn’t easy for everyone, and I feel awful for them. It sucks to see someone not have the time or money to exercise and eat healthy like I have been able to. I exercise regularly, eat as healthy as I can and avoid substances that can reverse that. All habits I always had, but are more effective when I keep them up like I did a better job of this year. This is key for good energy and motivation to do anything else.

I gained emotional independence. I feel even better about these things knowing that they came from my decisions- my happiness is my own. I don’t need someone telling I’m doing great, I know I am. I don’t need to go to anyone for reassurance because I simply don’t need it. As long as my priorities are working out, I’m fine. I know my actions are much more favorable, and I know what I have to do to keep it that way.

I stay grateful. I constantly thank everyone that was supportive of me in the roller coaster of 2016-2017. Because of them, I made it up from the drop (rock bottom), to the peak and now it feels like I can only go up. I know things will bring me down eventually when they’re out of my control, but that’s how it looks when I keep doing all the things that are making me this happy. I’ll do my best to keep it up.

My self worth is mine and mine only. My self worth is twice of what it was last year. I’m doing plenty for myself and the world, and finally living with purpose. I was constantly told to live with purpose but didn’t understand what it meant. I thought it meant to simply do something with my life, and it is but there’s more to it. I thought the fact that I’m going to college is plenty doing with my life and I have a purpose. It is, but now I feel that stronger because I know I’m going to a good place. To live with purpose means to not only do something with your life, but do something that will take to you a better place. To constantly better yourself.

That’s why I’m happy all the time. I bettered myself, keep it that way as much as I can and avoid anything/anyone that can bring me down. Life is too short to be anything but happy, so go do it. Do what you have to do in order to get to the peak of the roller coaster. Figure out what you want in life, take the steps toward it, keep only supportive people around, take care of yourself physically as well and be thankful for your supporters. It starts with reflecting on the negativity that’s in your life, then figure how to remove it. Just remember, you aren’t your setbacks- they don’t define you unless you let them.