I have always been known as the “The Nice Guy.” That is something that I hold very close to my heart and humbled by the fact people know me as that. I am such a people person. I will be there for anyone in need to talk. I will text/call you until you answer until I am certain you are okay. I will be the first person to apologize – even if I had nothing to do with the situation. That is just who I am. However, I have learned that if you do not start taking up for yourself, no one will. If you continue to be a people pleaser and put others needs before yours, you will get ran over. That is why I am saying it’s okay to be selfish at times.

I say selfish in the most un-rude manner. By selfish, I’m saying do something for yourself for a change. Stop living life at the service of others who are not going to do the same in return. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care for you and appreciate the little things you do for them. If you find yourself to be around negative people that make you feel unimportant or belittle you – get out now, it’s never too late. Be selfish in the sense to cut those individuals out of your life because every single person is important and deserves to be treated as such. If you are skeptical about doing this, remember, you cannot change overnight. It takes time and confidence to know that you deserve better and to occasionally put yourself first.

A very important person in my life once told me: “You have the right to say no and put yourself before others if you feel as if you are getting overwhelmed.” For me, I had the hardest time saying: No. Trying to hang out with this person and that person. Can’t say this to that person, because the don’t like this person. Doing this, that, and this after classes. It goes on, on, and on. It got to the point where I just could not do it anymore. Learning how to say no every now and then has been the best decision of my life. Note, this is not an excuse to not be social, but it’s a way to prioritize your own needs before you go try and better others. It is vital you know what you want from life and your own happiness should always be your main goal. Because, if you are not happy, how do you expect to make others happy?

Bottom line, never be discouraged for trying to better yourself. If you have to live life disappointed because you are missing out on adventures and memories due to the fact you are trying to please others who may not appreciate you, is not okay. I can attest, because I’ve been there. Be yourself. Find out what you want to gain from life. For those who are like one of my best friends who said: “I just try to please others because love is better than hate,” know that I am completely on your side. However, is it worth if the love is not going both ways? All in all, be confident in making sure you are happy and remember, it’s okay to be selfish at times.