All of my life, I've dated the wrong types of boys. They all had a problem, but I dated them anyway, giving them multiple chances along the way, and I always ended up getting hurt.
That being said, I got a label as a "fixer" -- someone who dated someone with problems because they just knew that somewhere along the way, their being in a relationship with ultimately "fix" the other problems.
Am I too nice? Absolutely.
Do I want the best for my significant other? Of course. Will I fix their problems? Ultimately, no, but I will be there as a support system for whatever they need to deal with. I find this entire "fixing" concept absurd and here's why.
It's controlling.
Why date someone specifically to "fix" them? Why seek someone out specifically with "problems?" It doesn't seem fair to find someone that has "problems" just so that you can "fix" them. In fact, looking for people to "fix" belittles people -- how can you decide who needs to be fixed? What issues qualify under needing to be fixed?
What happens after you "fix" them?
Are they cured? Is your purpose in their life over? Now that they are free of any problems, will they now no longer have problems for you? Are they everything that you want now? There are two options: move on because your job is done, or date your newly perfected significant other. Neither of which are acceptable options.
"Fixing" should be never be a part of a relationship. Your job as a boyfriend or girlfriend is to add to your partner's life, not to "fix" their problems.
We're human -- that being said, we all have our own individual pasts, problems, issues, and demons. Hard times come and go, and we will all hit rough patches in our lives.
If you're dating someone that's going through a hard time, that's OK. Be there for them, love them, and support them through their tough time. Your job isn't to fix their problems, but to support them and help them through their bad times. People are not problems to fix and no matter how hard that is to accept, the only job we have as people is to love everyone and treat them with the utmost respect. Struggle is a part of life and struggles allow people to grow -- don't fix someone, let them fix their own problems and support them through them.
