It seems that friendships between guys and girls can go many different ways. You both start out as good friends and stay that way, unless some weird drama occurs and separates you two. In looking at why this happens, I came up with a few reasons that might be responsible for everyone’s common confusion.
1. We often don’t talk when we really should.
There are times when we misunderstand each other, but instead of saying something, we let our imagination take flight.We think about all the possible things the other person could’ve meant and panic for possibly no reason.This could all be solved by simply asking *says like Justin Bieber,* “What do you mean?”
2. We often over-think.
This is a personal struggle of mine.There was this one time I ran into a certain guy friend that I had known for a decent amount of time and suggested to him that we “hang out sometime.” The usual response I get is “yeah, sure!” But this one guy in particular, acted totally different, to the point where I got extremely confused and uncomfortable. With me saying the simple sentence, he looked at as if I had seven horns coming out of my head. His face went from normal to totally blank and unreadable. He looked pale and frozen for a good, long while. After what felt like a very awkward eternity, he uncomfortably nodded and quickly walked away.
“Was it something I said?” I thought. Then it hit me: he didn’t take what I said in a friendship way… at all. He acted like I just asked him on a date or maybe in his mind I proposed. “Oh, man…” I thought, but I had no idea what to do about it. A potentially good friendship was… ruined? And worse, was it my fault? In this situation, I think it is pretty obvious, he over thought my intentions, and I over thought his reactions. Not a good place to be in at all.
3. We often misunderstand our differences.
If you think about it, there is a big difference between how males think and react, and how girls think and react. With this, we often receive information differently than how it was intended. For example, I know a few friends or couples who argue about a few consistent misunderstandings. Guys are usually more assertive and straightforward while females are more eager to please.
4. We develop an attraction and don’t know what to do.
Sometimes, in the middle of good friendships, one or both of the friends grow an attraction to the another. Since neither would like to admit it, the relationship can begin to get awkward.
5. Jealousy
This usually feeds off of either the guy or girl being attracted to the other, but not knowing how to tell the other. A girl might be really good friends with a guy friend but never tell him how much she really likes him. In time, he might move on and develop a relationship with another girl. This often leads to jealousy, which creates an odd wall in the friendship.
So all in all, how do we help these things from happening? I narrowed it down to two things -- be honest, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. A simple explanation can help so much in keeping or advancing great friendships.
