If you're wondering why I, a millennial who writes articles for Odyssey for little to no pay, am challenging Jim Davis, well respected American cartoonist and creator of Garfield the Cat, to a bare-knuckle street brawl, then you're reading the right article.
To be quite honest, there isn't one big grand reason I'm challenging Jim Davis, but instead, a bunch of tiny ones. It's like filling up a balloon with water. There's only so much water (in this case the water is Jim Davis) the poor little balloon (in this case the balloon is me). The transgressions that Davis has committed against me, both intentionally and unintentionally, are as numerous as they are varied.
For starters, he's smug. Second, that fucking cat of his is has become an icon of decadence and sin. Garfield is just a spoiled rotten carcass of a cat, who's brought nothing but pain and suffering to the world since his initial conception in the late 1920's. And who's made a steady profit from the constant cycle of chaos and turmoil perpetrated by this animated feline?
Jim Davis, that's who.
The third reason I want to fight Jim is that he slept with my wife and tried unsuccessfully to frame me for arson/insurance fraud. If I'm gonna be honest though, I don't care about this as much as the other things Jim's done or had done to me.
But really though, this fight is more for you guys than for me. When I go toe-to-toe with Davis, each successful blow I land on him will be a victory shared by every downtrodden American who's been pushed around by cartoonists like Davis for too long.
I know this fight is going to be dangerous, and I know there's a good chance that Jim Davis will in fact kill me, but knowing I have the unwavering support of my community keeps me from getting scared.
While Jim Davis has yet to respond, or even acknowledge, my invitation to duke it out on the hot city streets, I do expect him to accept it soon. In the mean time, I will keep training my mind, body and soul for this fight. I will also continue accepting prayers, positive thoughts and Paypal donations.
* Disclaimer: By all accounts, Jim Davis is a nice man and Garfield is a funny cat. Please don't sue me Jim, thanks.*
