Why I'll Always Appreciate My Friends From College

Why I'll Always Appreciate My Friends From College

You will forever be indebted to the relationships you built in college.

Dartmouth has this way of taking an image you once thought was crystal clear and making it blurry. I know I’m blind, so arguably my picture has always been a little blurry, but I am for sure not the only student at Dartmouth that all too often loses sight of what is really important and the core character traits that comprise that picture. Dartmouth students always seem to have on this façade that everything is picturesque, when in reality most are just trying to piece together their life in a way that has at least some resemblance of clarity. College is a really interesting time because, while on the surface it’s about getting an education, it is arguably, more so, about personal growth and exploration. It is a time to crash through the expectations you thought were set in stone, and a time to push the limits so much that inevitably you will end up flat on your face. No one likes the uncertainty of that blurry picture, because that uncertainty comes with a crippling fear of failure that all Dartmouth students are petrified to face.

The only way to conquer fear is to tackle it head on. At some point in college every student will experience it, that moment when there doesn’t even seem to be an image anymore, let alone a perfect picture of clarity. And in that defining moment instead of having your family to help refocus, there are only those relationships built at school for you to fall back on. College relationships are so unique because falling is unavoidable and students rely solely on their friends to help clear up the picture.

I seriously could not have gotten through my first two years at Dartmouth without the amazing group of people I am lucky enough to call my friends. There are so many great opportunities at Dartmouth, but what can often be overshadowed is the opportunity to surround yourself with people who challenge you to be the best version of yourself. The people who make the picture clear yet always make you question if the resolution could be better. These are the people who will undoubtedly make a positive impact on the world; passion spills out of them and their enthusiasm makes you passionate too.

It is scary to think about where everyone will be in five or 10 years down the road. Even throughout college relationships are always changing. Undoubtedly there probably won’t be a time in your life when you are as close to your friends as you are in college. While losing touch is a scary thought, regardless of proximity you will forever be indebted to the relationships you built in college because those are the people that got you through a crucial building block in your life, a time where you had to figure out what that picture meant to you and unavoidably the people around you had a say in that. When I started at Dartmouth my picture was for sure a little blurry. At first I just thought that was because I’m blind and things are hard to see, but I’ve realized the people I surround myself with at school have shown me successful relationships are as important, if not more, than success defined by Dartmouth standards.

Cover Image Credit: Adam Couitt

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An Open Letter to the Best Friend I Didn't See Coming

Some people come into your life and change you forever—thanks, bestie.

Dear best friend,

I wasn't expecting you when God placed you in my life. I had my friends. I had my people. I wasn't exactly open to the idea of new meaningful friendships because I had the ones I needed, and it didn't seem like I really needed anybody new.

Thank God that was false. Sometimes you meet people and you just know that you're going to be good friends with. Sometimes you meet people and you realize that there is no such thing as chance. I think God has a funny way of making it seem as if the things that happen to us are by chance, but honestly, that’s a load of crap. If the biggest moments of our lives were left up to chance, then I believe that would make God out to seem as if he didn’t care. It would make it seem as if He was truly abandoning me and making me face some of my most important seasons fully isolated. But you, best friend, are a true testament to the fact that God doesn’t just leave such important aspects up to chance. Thank you for taking a chance on our friendship, and thank you for allowing me to take a chance on what I didn’t realize would be the most impactful friendship in my entire life.

Thank you for being real with me. Thank you for not sugar coating things. Thank you for telling me when I have a bad attitude. Thank you for loving me through my mistakes. Thank you for supporting me in my decisions, even if it isn’t always the decision you would make. Thank you for wanting the best for me, and for making that your true intent behind the words that you say to me, whether they be constructive criticism or encouragement.

Thank you for being a goof with me. Thank you for putting me first. Thank you for seeing the importance of our friendship. Thank you for making time in your schedule for us to just sit and do homework, eat Mexican food, or sit on the porch and listen to music that emotionally wrecks you.

You’re one of a kind. You’re a shoulder to lean on. You’re a safe place. You’re a free spirit. You’re rough and tough, but your heart melts for the people you love and it’s obvious. You’re more than meets the eye. You are worth getting to know. You are worth loving. You pursue people. You are passionate about your future. You are everything that a person needs, and I really thank God that for some reason you continue to choose to be in my life. Thank you for literally dragging me up my mountains of fear when I want to stay exactly where I am at and wallow in the sadness. You bring joy—true joy—wherever you go. You are my best friend, confidant, and biggest fan. You will be the Maid of Honor, Godmother, and fun Aunt.

I used to think lifelong friendships weren’t really a thing. It just seemed like people always grew apart and forever was never a point that was attainable. Best friends forever is a cliché phrase that is continuously overused nowadays (sometimes, I even used to make light of it), but thanks for making that a reality. You are truly the best friend I could have asked for. So thank you for it all. You make life more fun, and I couldn’t thank God more for making an incredible human, friends with me.

I love you, pal!


Cover Image Credit: Julia Dee Qualls

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9 Reasons Your bestie May Not Be The Best for you anymore

Toxicity is contagious. 'Nuff said...


Best friends are sacred beings. They're the people we confide in when times are rough, plot future schemes and adventures with, and enjoy life alongside. They are treasures both in everyday life and in our hearts. But whether you've known them your entire life or met them recently in high school, there comes a time when you need to let them go. Here are nine signs that it is time to let the friendship go.

1. They're green with envy


Whatever the situation, they're always jealous of what you have. No matter what it is. New shoes? New car? New boo? They are bitter and seething envy. It is completely unbecoming of them and a major deal breaker.

2. Their attitude is "me-me-me!"


Everything is always about them. Even if a conversation begins with a problem you are having, they have a way of spinning it and making it about them. Having a bad day? Wow, they are too! Parents fighting? Sucks... So are theirs. Boy - or girl - trouble? What a shame... They do not have a care in the world. That is, unless it's about them.

3. You're a last resort


You're the person they conveniently turn to when A) their boyfriend is out of town, B) their "other friends" are busy, and/or C) it is an event they want to do, but no one else will. They expect you to hang out with them, but only if no one else is available.

4. They're never happy for you


You could score an A on an exam, nail that interview for that amazing job, or get into the university program of your dreams and it would not matter to them. Unless is influences them positively, forget about it.

5. Everything is a competition


This goes hand-in-hand with #1! Not only are they jealous of what you have, but they suddenly need to go get something classified as "better." It never seems to end.

6. They're a negative nancy


No matter what mood you are in, they always find a way to bring you down. Whether it is by guilt tripping you, bringing up painful memories, or turning the attention to something glum, they always find a way to sink their claws in and ruin your mood. The negativity doesn't stop with you. They are also guilty of bad-mouthing other people mercilessly.

7. They critique everything


Nothing you do is right. Nothing you do is how they would of done it. You are made to feel like you can do nothing right and what you do correctly is not correct enough.

8. There is always drama


Why must every waking moment be a daytime sitcom? Why must you always point out other people's insecurities? Why can't they just be a nice, civil person? Who knows.

9. They are your "only friend"


This is by far the biggest and baddest deal breaker of them all. If they have an issue with your other friends, then get out! If they are jealous of you spending time with other people, get out! If they act like you are only allowed to spend time with them, run! And most importantly, if they ever guilt trip you by acting like you "rank" your friends, just delete their number right then and there. It'll save you a lot of trouble, I guarantee it.

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