“You’re so thin!” “oh my gosh you look so skinny” “how do I get a tiny waist like you?”
These comments, whether you’ve said them, heard them, or both, may seem like they’re encouraging, but they are actually a part of body shaming. When we call young (and old) boys and girls skinny, thin, tiny, little, small, or any other words like that, we are subconsciously sending them the message that how they look is more important than how they feel. That being skinny is more important than being healthy. Even though your intent is to be encouraging, being healthy is so much more important than looking thin. Next time you want to give a compliment to your friend who is looking fine, here are 5 things that you can say to kids, adult, boys, and girls instead:
You look so healthy!
Everyone has a different body types: my thinnest might be your heaviest, and vice versa. So being healthy, eating a balanced diet, and exercising regularly, is important. By saying “you look so healthy!” you are teaching kids (and adults) that being healthy is more important than looking skinny.
Wow! I love how that {clothing item} fits you!
You can let someone know that they are rocking that dress, that the shirt they’re wearing is showing off their arm muscles, or that those skinny jeans are showing off how fabulous their butt looks! Instead of using words like skinny or thin, use words like lean, muscular, and tight (tight works especially well for the booty).
Hey you look great! What’s your workout regimen?
Let someone know that you’ve noticed that they look good, and encourage them to keep working out! This type of encouragement can also help you to stay motivated and healthy as well! In fact, you can even help yourself AND your friends at the same time by checking in with them and keeping everyone accountable. I do this with a close friend of mine, and if it wasn’t for her I don’t think I would work out as much as I do!
Your {calves, arms, back, stomach, thighs, butt, back} look great!
Let your friend know that their body looks great, and be specific! If their arms look super muscular and great, it’s probably because they’ve been working on them! If you’ve noticed that their leg muscles look more defined, tell them!
You look strong!
This one is particularly good for young boys (it definitely works for girls too!). Let them know that they look strong and healthy! Being strong is so much more important than being thin or weighing a certain amount!
There are so many other things that you can say to people that are more encouraging than the typical “you’re so thin/skinny/tiny.” And sometimes when you give those kind of compliments you end up putting yourself down as well, but when you focus on healthy compliments it tends to motivate you instead! These are also great things to tell yourself, not just your friends.
“So next time you look in the mirror instead of putting yourself down for the imperfections you see, take them and turn them into motivation for self improvement, and never forget to have grace and self love in the process.”Also don’t forget that little ears are always listening, so let’s speak positive body image language into not only our own lives, but those around us as well. And remember, your health is more important than any number on a scale.
-Malia Scharer
