I, like many college freshmen, started my journey holding onto my serious high school relationship. I thought I was with the person I was going to marry, I thought I had life all figured out. The future was bright, I was in love, and life was good. However, my story came to an abrupt end like so many others. Only a month into my college career, I had my first real heartbreak. This, unfortunately, is the trend all too often. I did lose my first love, but with that, I gained so much. The process of moving forward is a whirlwind of different emotions, anyone will tell you that. It was devastating and to this day, I still carry that sadness with me. However, I gained a sense of confidence and freedom. I had my OWN life in the palm of my hands and was free to make choices at my own will, not under the opinion of another person.
In the beginning, dating was the last thing on my mind. I had completely convinced myself that I would never be as close to the person I had just parted ways with, and that is okay. I was not ready yet. It took me months to even look twice at a guy. I was healing. When I finally felt at peace with myself to move forward in that aspect of my life, I was taken by surprise. I went out with my friends and met guys, I started talking to my guy friends again, and even met a few guys via social media (no shame). I had not been in the world of dating in years, and especially not in college. I was thrown into an epidemic that in plain terms, sucked. Some of things I have not only witnessed but experienced are awful. So many college guys in this day in age are caught up in the "hook-up culture" as many people call it. They are interested in many things, but meeting your mom and dad is not one of them. While everyone has their different tastes, this is one I cannot seem to agree with and that really bothers me.
A few other things I was forced to realize also really blew my mind. Guys will RARELY call you anymore, it's all about texts and my personal favorite, Snapchat. They will send you selfies all day long, but a phone call asking how your day is? Unheard of. Along with that, old-fashioned habits are exceedingly rare. The guys I have met in college do not come up to your door. They send you a text saying "here." They do not open your door, they do not make sure you get home safe, things are just different in college. The priorities are skewed, and it is sad. It could be a maturity issue, or it could just be the impact of a new social norm. I have sat in on conversations with my guy friends, and they seem to convince each other that getting into a relationship is an awful idea. "Why would you want to lose your freedom?" "Sounds pretty awful to me." The fact of the matter, however, is that a healthy relationship does not require you to give up your freedom, it is not awful. It actually is meant to do nothing other than make you happy. While each and every relationship will have problems, they are not supposed to be significant.
There is a major gray area in regards to an actual relationship status. It used to be you were either together or you were not. No in between. Now there are all of these other things that factor in. You could be "talking" or you could be "a thing" or you could be "getting back together." There are honestly like fifteen different relationship statuses at this point and it makes things so much more confusing. I, personally, have experienced some of my craziest scenarios in this gray area. For example, I was out with my friends and my phone died. The guy I was "talking to" (he went to a different university) decided to send me a string of 37 text messages bashing me for not texting him back. I had another guy tell me I was the most amazing girl he had ever met, and then three days later blatantly tell me I was not good enough for him via text message. I had the guy I like send me a picture of him kissing another girl just to make me sad. I've had guys lead me on, lie to me, and the saddest thing is that this is completely normal. It should not be like this. The college epidemic of dating is so skewed. Between my friends and I, I could name hundreds of crazy stories that have hapened in this gray area, but the moral of the story is that they all end the same.
Some people are lucky though and meet people who are genuinely willing to break these standards. Those people are so lucky. The rest of us, however, do not seem to come into the same luck. While dating in college has brought me an intense amount of frustration, it has also brought me a lot of laughs and will make me so grateful for when I find the right person.
