It makes me sad seeing girls that get offended when a guy opens the door for them, or buys them flowers on the first date. Why is getting attention from a boy making you feel less like a woman?
I recently saw a post about why chivalry is dead, and everyone was happy about it. People were commenting about how their boyfriend uses manners when on dates, and is nice to “every girl out there.” OK, well let me ask you this. Would you rather your boyfriend (the one you love to pieces) be rude to the waitress, never speak to other people in a respectful tone, and not have manners on the first date?
I didn’t think so.
There is a huge difference between opening doors, saying “yes ma’am,” “no ma’am” and being generous with gifts, and totally erasing your rights and ordering for you, never letting you drive, and not treating you as an equal. With this generation, girls are a LOT more powerful than they were back when chivalry was a bigger deal. A lot of women raised in the '90s don’t expect the things that women raised in the '80s do. Girls in my generation are the most head-strong, stubborn people I’ve ever met. I understand why guys don’t want to try and step in their way by doing things for them that they are very capable of doing. But that’s where it’s wrong.
When in college, dating isn’t number one on our list. It’s probably not even in our top three. Casual hook-ups and a few dates here and there is all anyone is ever paying attention to. But there are the rare occurrences when a boy takes you out and doesn’t take you to his place after. He’ll drop you off at home, maybe kiss you on the cheek, and say he’ll call you tomorrow if you’d like. He won’t put a mask over his true personality by shining his manners in your face. Instead, he’ll show you the way he was raised by the way he treats other people.
That just sounds horrible.
As an 18-year-old girl, I myself don’t want to be stepped all over, but then again I don’t want to be treated like I’m the superior. I asked a couple girls that I knew, and they all agreed on the terms of chivalry not dying. They all said along the lines of, “I want him to know I’m perfectly capable of doing things myself (opening doors, buying meals, getting themselves gifts), but it’s the gesture that matters to me.”
So dear boys, please don’t think that opening doors for us is being rude, or getting us flowers on the first date is too much, because it’s the thought that counts in the end, not the flashy smile. We want to know how your momma raised you, and it will show through the first date. Chivalry shouldn’t die, because the day it does, women won’t know how they’re supposed to be treated.
