Why are you so afraid to say 'I love you'?
I know. That sounds like a weird way to start an article, by putting anyone reading this article on the spot to think about those three little words that make millions of people freak out. And then, of course, there's the fact that Valentine's Day is right around the corner putting more and more people under pressure about saying those three little words to their significant other. But I'm going to tell you why you should be thinking about this question: Why are you so afraid to say 'I love you'?
I will be the first person to stand up, raise both hands up in the air, jump up and down screaming 'ME ME ME!' when someone asks "Do you freak out when you think about telling the person you're dating that you love them?" And I'll do all of those things and admit it because I didn't have the normal internal freak out inside my head or to my best friend. I had the full-blown mental breakdown. To prove my point, even more, I'll briefly tell you what happened.
I was sitting in my room one night and it literally just hit me like a ton of bricks that I knew I was in love. But, he said it first about a week after I figured this realization out. And when he went to tell me that he loved me, I saw it coming and instantly started crying and begging him not to say it.
Yup. I begged my boyfriend not to tell me he loved me.
No, I wasn't always this freaked out, but I had my heart broken in the past and I was terrified to fall in love again. So when he told me he loved me, I begged him not too, sobbed and called my mom as soon as he left and talked to my mom on the phone for the entire two-hour drive I had until I made it to my parent's house. I was absolutely terrified and the fact that I was so afraid, made me feel like I was broken.
Then there's the fact that we have grown up in a society that is flooded with romantic movies and books full of tales of how the girl meets her prince charming, and within days they live happily ever after. I MEAN COME ON WHERE WAS THIS PRINCESS'S DAD'S CHASING THIS RANDOM GUY OFF??? Even the entire story of Romeo and Juliet takes place in a total of about 3 days! So here we are, growing up reading these books and obsessively watching these movies with the hopes and dreams that our literal prince charming is going to show up at our house one day with a glass slipper telling you that you're about to be a princess. They don't tell you that something will happen in your life that will at some point cause you to become terrified with the idea of falling in love. So now I ask you the question again: why are you so terrified to say 'I love you'?
Was it a bad break up that made you never want to fall in love and have your heart broken again?
Was it someone not being able to love you back?
Was it a parent that made you feel unloved and because of that, you think there is no possible way anyone could love you?
Have you never been in love before?
Are you afraid of giving up your independence?
Is it all of these or none of these?
Take 5 minutes to think about this, I mean really think about it. What the hell has you so afraid to say I love you to another person? Again, I personally know how it feels to be afraid of falling in love and even more afraid to tell someone else that I love them, so I'm not here to judge you or make you feel stupid for feeling incapable of saying those words to another person. I just want you to think about it and maybe offer some advice. So from one person afraid of love to another: it's okay to be scared.
It's okay to not be ready to say I love you today, or tomorrow, or next week, a month from now, or even a year from now. Who care's if it's Valentine's Day and you've been dating for a while and they already said it. There is no time frame that says you have to say it within 3 months or you'll be alone for ever, and if people say there is or try to rush you to say it, screw them. No one has the right to tell you when YOU need to fall in love or say I love you. It's your life and you need to take your time.
Before I go, I'm just going to say this.
Take you're time to find out why you're afraid right now. And like every mom out there has always said, when you know, you know. Enjoy the journey that leads you to that point, and when you finally get there, I hope you find the happiness you're looking for.
I can't wait to hear about the day you were finally ready.